The Slim Lady got a text message from her sister who is five-month pregnant that reads: Another Koo Koo Bird (no relation to Victor Koo, of course). She has a boy, Izaac, who's already four. Now she hopes for a girl.
I couldn't help smiling when the Slim Lady showed me the text as I recalled the time Slim Lady was pregnant many moons ago....
You see, though we are blessed with two boys, like her sister, the Slim Lady has always wanted to have a daughter. To her, a daughter is all sugar and spice. She is a mum's best friend and confidant. She is someone with whom mum can share girly secrets. And yes, you get to dress her up like cute little angels and there are so many ways you can do up her hair....
Needless to say, the Slim Lady was disappointed when our first-born was a boy. It took us six years to consider having a second child, in the hope that the next one would be a girl.
We Chinese have a few "myths" when it comes to telling the sex of the baby:
1. The more "pointed" the abdomen of the expectant mother is, the more likelihood the baby will be a boy. The rounder, the more likelihood of a girl.
2. The smoother the facial complexion is, the likelihood of a girl and vice versa.
The Slim Lady had sworn she had all the symptoms indicating that it would be a girl the 2nd time round.
Alas, she was again disappointed when the ultra-sound indicated that the baby was another "koo koo bird". I can still recall the day she broke the news too me. She sounded a little down and said that her hands were going to be "full" caring for a boy again. I told her that the foetus could actually feel how the mummy was feeling and how sad it was that even before the baby was born, it already felt the rejection by the mummy. Boy or girl, I added, it's okay as long as the baby was healthy.
I have come to realise that the younger women of our time have very different views to those of my mother's generation when it comes to the gender of our offspring. The older folks tend to favour the boys, especially the Chinese. Perhaps the thinking then was that boys are important because only boys could continue the legacy and name of the family. I remember asking my mum if she loved to have a grandson or a granddaughter. Even though she said she had no preference as long as the baby was healthy, she said something after the birth of Senior Junior that told me she still preferred grandson.
You see, Slim Lady's first pregnancy wasn't at all easy and she ended up having a caesarian. The bill came up to about 4 grands. When my mum learned this, she commented that luckily it was a boy! It's like saying if it's going to be a baby girl, then it's not worth spending that kind of money to have her.
Anyway, girl or boy, there's really nothing parents-to-be can do about it. Though of course there are books telling us the food we eat actually can help to determine the gender of the baby. There're even clinics around that promise to give you the gender you want for your baby with a 99.9% accuracy, at a price of course. Some gahmen, like those in Singapore, has deemed this unethical and has refused to allow such clinics to be set up here. They probably thinking if everyone chooses to have daughters, who's going to serve NS to protect Singapore in time to come??
That being said, we're glad to have both our boys, even though they do give us headaches and worries every now and then. But which kid, boy or girl, hasn't? Besides, how can anyone not love a boy with such an adorable face? Some of our friends said he's a chip off the "old" block. Hehehe..
3 comments:
Hi Chris, here I am commenting on you blog at 1 am again. It's not that I am missing out on my sleep and s.., it's just that I have that done earlier, hee.
First let me congratulate your sister-in-law for expecting her second son. The right spelling should be 'Cuckoo' bird but I don't sweat this small stuff.
You've got 2 boys and I've got 2 boys too. But that's where the similarity ends - my wife had 2 Caesarian sections, one for each of the births of course, whereas yours had one.
Just in case you say that I am fond of comparing and always want to be 'one up' on others, let me tell you I am not - I am only stating the facts. Our 1st born's delivery cost us about $10K because it was done in Mount E which is famous for one other thing besides its medical excellence. After delivery, mummy suffered a bloated tummy and had to be warded for 1 week in a 1-bedded ward aka Class A.
The delivery of my second son was nowhere easier. If it was done in a 1st class ward of a private hospital, it would have easily cost us a 6-figure sum. However, thanks to the quick thinking and advice of her gynaecologist, we checked into the subsidised ward of NUS.
You see, our 2nd son was born premature at 27+ weeks. His weight at birth was only about 1 kg and hence he had to stay in the post natal care ward for more than 2 months. His 3rd class (heavily subsidised) NUS bill already came up to more than $30K. This amount was totally defrayed by government subsidy, my medical benefits and Medisave. I thank my lucky stars that I have avoided getting myself into serious debt. But, like you have said, I am even more grateful that my son survived and is now healthy.
We parents never have an easy time from the very moment the baby is born. It makes you understand what your parents went through.
Well, my sis-in-law spelt it KOO KOO BIRD. KOO KOO certainly looks cuter then "Cuckoo" which, I'm sure you'd agree, sounds pretty lame. Besides, it's like calling your name, eh koo this... koo that.. It's cool! hahaha..
It scares me to think that we have so many things in common Victor! My junior also came to the world via caesarian! Senior Junior was born in TMC, whereas Junior was born in KK. Comparing the services of the two hospitals is like comparing an apple and an orange. TMC provides very personalized service. As for KK, I was not informed when my junior was carted out of the operating room, and I practically have to run after nurse to find out if the baby in the trolley was my son!! Unbelievable!!!
I guess you must have treasured your kids so much, especially junior. I'm sure they would grow up to be fine young men like the Dad.
I couldn't agree with you more on your last paragraph. People always say "suffer the little children" when kids get abused under the hands of people who are ill or simply evil. Perpetrators of such atrocities ought to be brought to justice, or they would have to face the wrath of God on judgement day.
On the other hand, we parents aren't exactly having a honeymoon either. I just smacked Senior Junior in the head and gave him a light slap on his left cheek for having played punk with his friends after school today. He was supposed to call me if he wished to go hang out with his friend after school, but chose not to do so today. This is not the first time and it certainly won't be the last. After I hit him, he looked at me defiantly and slammed the door shut before me. Sigh.
I'm sure you'd agree, that we parents only have the best of their interest for our kids. If we have appeared to be over-protective, it's because we want to shield them from bad influence in our society. One thing I cannot tolerate is dishonesty. Senior Junior would sometimes tell me that he's gone to his friend's house to do project when he actually went to the arcade. I've told him to be honest with me, and I may just allow him 1 or 2 hours to be with his buddies, even to the arcade. I've used the soft approach, talking to him like a friend, but drastic action is needed if he chooses to defy my order. What a headache!
In my opinion, there comes a time when corporal punishment comes a little too late to be effective. At your senior junior's age, I would rather choose to take away some of his privileges as a form of punishment (that is assuming that he was given some privileges in the first place). I just feel that giving corporal punishment can be counter productive. It can cause him to become defiant and resentful (as manifested by the 'defiant look' and the 'slamming of the door'). Then you will have more problems.
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