Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The power of motivation

I don't know whether to cry or to laugh.

Junior brought home his report card today. Mummy has promised him a Notebook if he scored Band 1 for his Maths, English and Chinese in his CA 1 exam. I still think my wife is it is insane to have promised the child the sun and the moon.

Alas, Junior got two Band 1 and a Band 2. So, there'll be no laptop. But I told him mummy and daddy are proud of his result and happy that he's tried his best, and announced that we'd reward him with something other than the notebook. He said ok, but there's no doubt the look of disappointment on his face.

But I was pleasantly surprised to hear Junior say, "I'll try harder for my SA 1 exam to get the notebook."

I hope we're not inculcating in him the evil of consumerism and materialism. No, I don't think we are. What I see instead is the power of motivation. Maybe the Slim Lady knew something that I don't. She did something to motivate the child. And self-motivation, as we know, is the key to many successes in life.

We parents always tell our kids that at this juncture in their lives, their main job is to study hard in their studies. If they do so, and prove it in their results, they can have all the things they want, and by "all the things", we meant:

1. The freedom to play the Playstation, on-line games and computer games for as long as they want on weekends;
2. The freedom to be a couch-potato for as long as they want over the weekends; and
3. Being pampered with any toys or gadget not more than $50.

But the notebook offer took me totally by surprise. Now I know why we men don't get it. It's because they women never bother to discuss it. Sigh.

Category: Family

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

well chris, there's gotta be a balance lor i guess. slim lady (mind if i call her that) is both right and wrong to use the notebook as a "carrot" to motivate your son to work harder. and mind you, kids nowadays are smart. you think they'll just be happy to receive a cheap toy or a trip to sentosa shd they get good results? not anymore...we're not living in the 1980s. my friend got her daughter an ipod nano when she did well for her PSLE last year. thats what the kids want nowadays...gizmos, gadgets, trips to faraway places etc etc. tho' i'm hv to say a notebook is a tad too heavy..both for the kid (since he's afterall a kid), and also heavy for your pocket lol. but slim lady probably knows better, i'm not sure. if you ask her, she might just let u on the reasons WHY she thinks your boy needs a notebook, tho' i hope her reasons are legitimate haha.

and, being friends with your kids are a surefire way to bring relationships closer..you want them to tell you their whereabouts, the friends they're mixing with, their inner most feelings and to really trust u not to condemn or reprimand them. so maybe your wife has plans to do that..ie. be friends with your son! i would say its not a bad thing actually...but of coz there always has 2b a limit to everything lah...kids still hv to respect authority and parents must know how to exercise control.

Anonymous said...

btw chris, exchange email if u don't mind? just wanna flood your inbox lah haha :p

Chris Sim said...

You sound very expert leh, Evan, though I understand that you and you hubby are still DINK - that's double income no kids.

Ya, I suppose kids these days have progressed, whether we like it or not. Just as we parents have high expectation of them, the kids too have high expectations of the rewards they want. But the main thing here is to make them realise that they have to work hard at what their hearts desire.

It's so true that we have to be friends with our kids, to gain their trust. But we have to strike a balance, for if we become too friendly, they might climb over our head. I have another boy who's 13, the age when they become rebellious and challenge my authority. The angst of parents!

You can reach me at foollie@yahoo.com.sg, Evan. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

wow 13??! and may i ask, how old are you? victor's age? i thought you're only about 32 LOL

Victor said...

Evan, Chris is certainly not old enough to be a grandpa like me. But he's also not as young as 32. (Disappointed about getting his e-mail address now, right? I am so jealous.)

Chris' age is somewhere in between. Let me put it this way - he's at an age when he feels awkward about revealing it. Let's see if I am right. :)

Oh yes, more about Chris - he's quite handsome and looks quite tall - when sitting down. ROTFL.

Chris Sim said...

Evan - What is so unbelievable abt fathering a child at 19? I'm not saying that I did, but such things happen. Some even younger. But some choose to do so when they're near GRANDPA's age. Hee.

Victor - I'm certainly not awkward about revealing my age. But I'll email that to Evan to make you even more jealous. Hng! And by the way hor, height is relative, ok? Just like fat is. Hng hng!!!

Anonymous said...

victor victor, whats your email addy huh? i wanna flood yr mailbox oso...whether izit 25 or 50, doesnt matter to me lah, where got such thing as feel disappointed haha...anyway i was abt to ask u actually...haha

chris, u r quite right lor..i feel like i know the kids very well..which is precisely why i don't wanna hv them, if i can help it. of coz the thing is, ppl might say there's joy lah, satisfaction lah, fulfillment lah..but to me, they're well...more like a burden. sometimes i feel like i'm a big kid myself..so i dunno how i'm gonna educate them when i don't even know how to take care of myself!

anyway, kids nowadays hv got alot of pride in them. which is why they cannot be scolded, or criticized. did you see how the young ppl job hop nowadays? thats becoz they're too proud. what happens to the time when ppl used to be so humble and teachers were given the ability to hit students?? the era is long gone...so the key to educating the kids now is...u gotta b very sensitive to their feelings.

fr said...

As for myself I got no promise of anything from my parents for doing well. It was expected of me. Of course I didn't mind; it was different those days. My self-satisfaction was good enough.