As happy as gay can be

In the days
That seem so far away
You were just being happy
When you said you were gay

In this age
Of political correctness
People think you're queer
If gay's the word you uttered

Victor's grouses against MJM, our fellow colleague is understandable. That chap is a real pain in the ass... (oh... not THAT word again..)

Sometime last year, both Victor and I received an email from MJM in the office.

The email contains an article about how a Singaporean couple, both doctors, learned of their two sons' homosexuality, from their sons, no less. The father was understandably devastated. Though he continued to love and support the boys, he was disappointed. Three years later, he divorced the wife, remarried and told her: ‘Good. Now that I have the chance to marry another woman, maybe my future children will not be gay.’

But the wife, Dr Khoo Hoon Eng, was made of steelier stuff. When she first learned that both her boys were gay, her main concern was that they would face a life of prejudices. She also realised that their confession does not necessarily mean that they are sexually active. Dr Khoo later became one of the founders for SAFE Singapore (Supporting, AFfirming and Empowering our LGBTQ [Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender And Questioning] friends and family), a support group to help parents to cope with gay kids.

Now, why did MJM send that article to Vic and I? The answer is simple. It's because both Vic and I have two sons. Er... no we aren't gay and we aren't married to each other ... Let me rephrase that ... It was because both Victor and I are fathers of two boys ...(ya, I think that sounds better and clearer...) MJM has no son but three daughters. To put it simply, he was gloating about what can happen to boys in a "twist of nature". How nice, I'd thought, to have colleagues who are so concerned if your off-springs would turn out gay! Though I don't see how it's any of their damn bloody business.....

Usually, I have no time for bigoted and homophobic people like MJM. But I thought I should educate him on the existence of the gays of the other gender - the lesbians. And I asked him, would he abandon his daughters if they turn out gay?

I remember watching an episode of Desperate Housewives (looking out for Eva Longoria; she’s a babe! See? Told you I'm straight). One of the housewives, Bree, has a son, Andrew, who is gay, and who did not see eye to eye with his mother in most things. He had blamed her for his father's death. To spite her, Andrew slept with Bree's lover (yeah.. it's all very complicated I must say).

One day, on the pretext of going somewhere (sorry, I can't remember where), Bree told Andrew to get into a car. Then, after driving for a while, Bree stopped the car at some remote part of the country, threw a luggage at Andrew and asked him to get off. Andrew begged his mom not to desert him. With a icy look in her face, Bree told Andrew that she just couldn't handle him anymore, and that she has to let him go.

As she drove off, she was crying with an anguished look on her face, stealing glances at her son from the rear mirror. That was one of the most poignant scences I've seen on TV in a long time.

Now, Bree was not abandoning Andrew because he was gay. She did so, because of Andrew's spitefulness against her. There's no mistake about her love for her son, even as she drove off.

I always teach my kids, that we should accept the way same people are. Sure, there're a lot of debates as to whether homosexuality is nurtured or in-born. Some say it's a life-style by choice. Others say, well, it's juz like how some people are born left-handed. We'll leave that to the scientists. But, my point is that we shouldn't be too quick to judge on people, either by race, colour of their skin, religion, and yes, sexual orientation.

So, would I abandon my boys if they turn out gay? It's extremely difficult, especially coming from an Asian culture. But, my answer is a definite NO.

Would you?

But I feel sorry for MJM's daughters, though.

Category: Musings