My bro Nick is going to be a Dad. He was close to being a father once. That was last year. By a cruel twist of fate, the foetus was aborted five months into the pregnancy, after a hole was found in its heart.
We have never stopped wondering why the hole was not detected much earlier in the ultra-sound scans. Five months is a long time, long enough for the mum and the foetus to begin their bonding process. It's easy to blame the gynae for not breaking the news to Nick and his wife, May sooner. We just wished that he has done so earlier, then aborting it will be less of an emotional trauma to the Mum-to-be.
It was a tough decision. In the end, Nick and May decided to abort the foetus. It is a personal choice. Nick and May, much as they loved their unborn child, did not want to subject it to endless pains and sufferings. There'll be frequent visits and stay in the hospital, disruption of work and daily lives, not to mention medical expenses. A life like this is not only hard on the child, it's also extremely painful to the parents, watching their child suffer. Ultimately, it's the quality of life that matters. And in the end, that is not the kind of life Nick and May want for the child, nor for themselves.
According to Nick, the gynae told him that one in 5000 (or was it 50,000) foetus is afflicted with hole-in-the-heart condition. But my mum has her own theory. May had been consuming come concoction of Chinese herbs supposedly good for pregnancy on the advice of her mother and mum thought this was the likely cause. Nobody knows.
This time, mum, longing for another grandchild, has lay down rules and warned May against consuming anything that may cause harm to the foetus. She's even threaten to throw away any herbs she sees in the house. Superstition aside, I think this time round, I'd agree with my mum. What we don't know can't hurt us. But sometimes, it also won't hurt us if we just listen to those who are "older" but "wiser".
I've lost a nephew last year. Next year, like Nick and May, I'd want to hold the bundle of joy in my hands. And I pray to God that Nick and May be blessed.
1 comment:
It's a really sad story that you have related. It couldn't be more true to say that our worries as parents begin even before the child is born. Sometimes when you think about it, you are blessed enough already if your child were to be born alive, healthy and normal. Whether he performs well in his studies or do well later on in life really doesn't seem to matter that much anymore, am I right?
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