Aiyeeeh! So dirty!

WARNING: This entry contains mature theme. Minors please go away ....



This is a magazine. A health magazine. A family-oriented magazine.

Oh, did I forget to mention it's a Singapore magazine, approved by the gahmen (MITA?) and meant to be read by Singaporeans?

Now, what makes this magazine stand out from the other locally produced magazines, like 8-days, Her World and FHM? What's so special about this magazine? Anne Kok, the has-been? (Hmmm... nice dimples, though).

When I found this magazine at my brother's house, I took it home with the intention to show to the Slim Lady. No, I told myself she juz had to read this magazine, at least this issue.

So, I left it on the coffee table, hoping that Ann Kok, or something else would catch her attention.

She didn’t take the bait. She's no fan of Ann, and neither am I. The story would have been different if Korean hunky star Kwong San Woo had been on the cover page. She, fan of Korean TV drama would have lapped it all up, and caught that contentious article I so wanted her to read. Well, truth is, since the school term started, she's been so pre-occupied with the kids, with their school works, with household chores, in fact, with everything BUT the husband.

So, while watching TV after the kids have settled, I asked her. "Eh, did you read that magazine on the coffee table?"

"No lah, where got time?" she said.

"Aiyah, there's a very interesting article in that issue leh," I was eager to share.

"Is it? What about?" she asked, eyes glued on the TV.

"Well, there's an article called "Oral Sex Is Safer", I said, trying to arouse her, I meant her interest.

"Aiyeh... so dirty!" the Slim Lady reacted.

Now, you must remember, if you've been following my blog, that the Slim Lady is a nurse by profession. No, I don't have a fetish for women in uniform. The fact that she is a nurse and happened to by my wife is purely coincidental. But to a nurse, ANYTHING that is "out of the norm" is "dirty". Who decides what's the norm and what's not anyway?

Are you blushing? Is that too much information? Okay, I shall spare you the details of my SEX life (I'm not the male equivalent of the SPG, after all). Let's turn our attention to this article in question, or rather, the author of that article.

That writer, by the name of Edmun Wee, must have balls as big as coconuts. Hello? Is he NOT aware that oral sex is outlawed in Singapore? Even if it's consensual and performed in the privacy of one's home? The Singapore Penal Code, Chapter XVI (Offences Affecting the Human Body), Section 377 (Cap. 224) states that:

Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 10 years, and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation. Penetration is sufficient to constitute the carnal intercourse necessary to the offence described in this section.

For the longest time, we Singaporeans have been the butt of joke in the world stage when it comes to 69, Victor's favourite number. The oral (and anal, yucks!) sex prohibitions have been the subject of controversy since the court of appeal ruled in 1997 that oral sex is a crime except when it is prelude to intercourse between a man and woman.

Just who are we kidding? Do the authorities assume that men and women only have sex, missionary style? Dun be such a prude! (Which is what I told the Slim Lady, exactly!)

So, it was with great delight to many people (not that they give a damn anyway since many of them are already doing it), the gahmen has announced late last year that it is looking into amending some of the penal codes that have been with us since colonial days, including Section 377.

But until that becomes a reality, I think it's still too early for an article to advocate the practice of oral sex, and so blatantly in a family magazine. Edmund Wee, the writer of that article, as I said, must have had balls as big as coconuts. My eyes almost popped out when I read that article, especially in a place as asexual as Singapore (Don't forget, we ranked no 2 in a survey on folks who frequently made love - from the bottom up!)

But practitioners of 69, keep your fingers crossed!


We men know that there are certain things women juz won't do when it comes to sex. And most men respect that. But if the women truly love us, they should Just DO It. Do it, do it, do it! Oh gimme a break! There's nothing dirty about ORAL SEX. Everyone's doing it. Clinton, once the most powerful man on earth, did it in the santuary of the White House! (Now, you could almost sense my frustration, eh?)

If she refuses, then the least she should do is to get me a concubine. Some guys, like Chris, my namesake, has all the luck.

Now, this is what I called "too much information". But don't believe what I wrote at face value though. Most time, I write to amuse. LOL.

Category: Musings