Once there was a girl, the prettiest in the line ...

The girl needs no introduction, of course.

She was (still is) a nurse. I was a soldier.

She was the sister of a friend. And I was a friend of her sister.

She had her suitors who drove big cars, and who wooed her with flowers and brought her to posh and fancy restaurants. I had nothing and nobody; but was looking for love (in all the wrong places, as Johnny Lee would have sung).

As Cupid would have it, she only had eyes for me.

She asked me out for a movie. "I've bought the tickets," she called one day. I remember the name of the movie and the cinema - "Stand By Me". We planned to meet at the now defunct Orchard Theatre.

When I reached the Cinema, she was already waiting for me, her hands full with a McDonald's paper bag, stuffed with fries and McChicken.

She said the bespectacled me was kinda cute and she loved my loving nature. I thought she was demure, sweet as sugar and I liked it that she seemed to have "no-temper". We fell in love. And got married. I thought our marriage was made in heaven. The honeymoon was so sweet; but how soon it flew!

Of course, after almost 18 years of being "enslaved" to each other, we know better then believing in marriages made in heaven. She actually has quite a temper, which had been lying dormant. She tricked me! But our married life is typical of most couples - we love, we bicker, we scream at each other, kiss and make up. Couples who said they do not squabble are either not telling the truth, or they're simply not communicating.

She's a lovely wife (she does not fancy diamond or credit cards), and a good mom (she knows how to handle the kids to make them seen, and not heard). But no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is, passion does, unfortunately, fade with time (no?). There are times she made me darned mad with her unreasonable behavior (aren't most women like that?). I reminded her that I AM THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. She added, "Well, then I'm the neck that controls the head!" How does a man respond to that? I was left speechless.

But I love her, I really do. But there are times when I juz feel like, you know, strangling her, making her see things from my point of view.

Truth is, nothing quite prepared us for what lied ahead when we took the plunge. When we registered our marriage at the ROM, we weren't given any instruction manual like "An Idiot's Guide to being a Perfect Spouse" nor "Parenthood Made Easy". Weren't most married couples like us? We simply dived into this institution called marriage, haplessly and without much clues as to what it takes to make a good husband or a good wife.

But hey, all is not lost. Maybe what I need is juz a little guidance from the love gurus on how to treat and love your woman better. (Darned! The only person whom I thought is an expert on love is currently in a men-bashing mood). But I spotted a book at Times, the bookshop the other day, that might juz do the trick! "The Five Love Languages - how to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Men’s Edition" by Gary Chapman seems juz like what I need to fix my wife make me more aware of what my wife really needs...



I flipped through the book. It does look promising with chapters like:

• What Happens to Love After the Wedding?
  
• Keeping the Love Tank Full
  
• Love Language - Acts of Service
  

No, this entry is not a prelude to that V day much dreaded by us men. Lucky for me, the Slim Lady doesn't believe in Valentine's Day either. She used to say it's a total waste of money to buy flowers. My female friends told me that's crap. ALL women from age 2-92 luuurrrvve flowers.

Let's see what Mr Gary Chapman has to say about that .....

Category: Musings