Love
It was sweet when it started
We only had eyes
For each other
Love
It's like life's long journey
A walk in the sunshine
Not without the occasional rain
Love,
There's just no more
What happened?
And what went wrong?
Love
When it dies
Of resentments and hurt
It brings forth devastation, and broken lives
Not just yours
Or mine
The little ones', too
When love dies .....
Category: Family
10 comments:
Chris, I can understand what you're going through because I've experienced it before. No, not a divorce, although I can imagine how traumatic it can be, not just for the 'couple in trouble' but also for their children too. It is much worse than a break-up because break-ups don't (normally) involve children. I understand because I've experienced break-ups before. So contrary to speculation, I actually have met quite a few women in my life before. Maybe, it's because I didn't understand them enough or they were not understanding enough of me.
What I mean is that I've also had someone close who've had a divorce a few years ago. It was not only traumatic but violent, I can tell you that. It even left an indelible mark on my teak table caused by the hard banging of a cup onto it during a heated argument. No, the table was not part of the couple's divided assets (I'm not that scheming). Just that the woman stayed at my house for about 1 month after her break-up.
What was ironical was that the woman was adamant that her divorce will not leave any indelible mark on her young daughter (less than 10-year old at that time), unlike my teakwood table. Who was she kidding? She's was probably in denial mode at that time.
Nobody can save a broken marriage, not even the marriage counsellor. The couple must both want to save it themselves. (Just like it takes two to make a marriage work.) That's why the marriage counsellor always tell you, "Half the battle is won if the couple is willing to come and see me." However, most people have already made up their minds when they come to that stage.
I think I better stop here because my comment is already (much) longer than your post. :P
Damn, I should have written a post on this topic myself, haha.
Victor, keeping your scores huh? So how many women exactly did u have? Excluding your mother and sisters and other fairer members of your extended family, of course! LOL.
When a relationship sours, it's very difficult to continue to stay under the same roof. If you insist to stay on as couple, do u think it's healthy to subject the kids to the daily quarrels and spats between the couples? Pyschological, the kid will definitely be affected. So will a divorce. It's a lose-lose situation. But my view is that a divorce should be followed up with proper counselling to the kids, to make the kids understand why men and women breakup sometimes and that mum and dad need to move on in their separate lives.
Everyone deserves a second shot at happiness, Victor. We're really not in a position to judge.
Someone close is also heading for divorce. It is traumatizing actually, to see marriage coming to such an end.
One of my relatives spoke to their kid a couple of weeks back, and the kid was crying when talking about it. When a couple divorce, the kids are the one that really suffer. It pains me to see them so unhappy, and all the trauma they get seeing their parents quarrel, etc.
Good thing is the husband still wants to reconcile with the wife. Bad thing is, the wife is determined to leave him.
Oh dear,you are going to feel the tension.
Oh, I was just chatting with two lawyer friends a few days ago and they were commenting on the amount of divorce cases they are having. It seems that many couples in their 40s to 60s are divorcing.
Shocking to me! I thought the younger ones would have no qualms filing for a divorce when things do not meet their expectations.
They are many reasons for a divorce. I agree that both parties should try to salvage the marriage. But if there is really no more reason for the two to be together, then it is better to go their separate ways.
The children will suffer but their parents can make it easier for them by making the separation as amicable as possible. When love goes sour, the relationship doesn't need to go downhill. After all, both have loved each other enough to have kids ( Although some have kids even if they dun love each other la!).
Chris, count yourself lucky you are not in their shoes!
Jayne
I agree with your sentiments. Salvage the marriage, but if it's proven futile, then go the separate ways.
Many people are of the opinion that estranged couples should stick on for the sake of the kids. The belief is that a home without a mother (or father) figure would scar the kids psychologically. Some girls would grow up longing for a father, and they end up looking for men as father-figure. Likewise the boys hooking up with women they see as their mother-figure. The home, as they say, is the nucleus of the world. And occupents of a home, whether they are happy or otherwise, effects the world at large. But it's also not exactly healthy to continue to stay together and fight all day in front of the kids.
It's difficult to be amicable when a relationship hits the rock, especially if it involves a third party, much less live under the same roof, pretending to be strangers.... I think I have a post on why our divorce rate has gone up.... Do U Think I'm Sexy
Do the 'love gurus' help? I see some of the advice dished out by the 'aunt agony' on Sunday Times and I think they are really stupid.
Etel
It's sad and heartbreaking. But divorce, unfortunately, is a fact of life. People change, feelings change... Marriage, like many things in life, is a gamble..... The parents, even if they are thinking about themselves when they head for the divorce, should also ensure that the kids get some kinda counselling....
Liling
Yes... we're going on a trip with the family (less one of the spouse) to keep their mind off the unhappiness for a while comes this March holiday .... Maybe the Slim Lady and I can talk them out of it...
Chun See, we're not exactly talking about Aunts Agony. The love gurus here refers to the marriage counsellors. As long as there's a sliver of hope in saving the marriage, I see no harm meeting these gurus... Of course, many couples are not willing to see them because either they are angry with each other, or they simply give up the marriage. It takes someone really charismatic and persuasive to make them go see the marraige counsellors.... Maybe u can help?
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