WARNING: THIS POST IS RATED RA
Unless you're living in a world totally devoid of the mass media or shopping malls, you would have known that OSIM's latest gadget is called i-Gallop.
I almost fell off my chair when I caught the advertisement on TV the other day. Nubile SYTs (and some hunks) were seen "galloping" away, quite suggestively, with the latest gadget. It makes me wonder why the advert is shown late at night, past prime-time TV.
Who is OSIM kidding? OSIM, in recent time, has come up with various products, each with name sounding more suggestive then its predecessor. Well, consider these:
1. i-Desire - OSIM'S pricey massage chair that promises to deliver full-body massage experience.
2. i-Pamper - the hand-held massage that "promises the ultimate in soothing relief to pamper you and your loved ones".
3. i-Poke - Oh this is the "nasty" one, my friends. But wait, it's simply (and quite innocently) "an ingenious foot and calf massager designed to replicate the feel and pressure of an authentic foot reflexology massage".
4. i-Squeeze - Lest you got carried away with your "lewd" thoughts, this gadget basically serves the same function as the i-Poke. The only anatomy it squeezes is your foot.
5. i-Snug - frankly, I'm not too sure about the use of this product; perhaps something to snug up close to when one's spouse or partner is away on a long trip?
But let's come back to i-Gallop. Like it or not, i-Gallop is drawing quite a lot of unwanted and unintended attention. The OSIM spokesman would have you believed that i-Gallop "needs no conscious exertion by the user..... and [it] not only improves cardiovascular function, but also balances without putting additional stress on the joints". OSIM also claims, in its website, that i-Gallop can help you to achieve "Flat abs, firm behind and toned thighs ... from just sitting on the i-Gallop!"
That's a tall story that even I, someone vertically challenged, has problem looking up to. How does one benefit from a machine that requires "no conscious exertion by the user"? Though I'm neither an exercise buff nor a medical staff by profession, I have doubt about the benefits extolled by OSIM. Seriously, OSIM, which bills itself as the global leader in healthy lifestyle products in its website, should do better in order to make me part with my money. And at $998 each, i-Gallop certainly does not come cheap, like most of OSIM'S other products.
A friend of mine commented, half in jest of course, that OSIM'S products are nothing more then sex toys in disguise. But I beg to differ. There's absolutely nothing "sexist" about OSIM's range of products, except for the names given. What will OSIM think of next? i-Shiok, perhaps? Think what you want, but the innocent me think it's a great name to add a local flavour to a company who has its humble beginning in Singapore. No?
Oops, the advert just came on (and it's not even past prime-time!). If you'll just excuse me ... I've got some "gawking" to do ... Ooooooh..simmmmm....
Category: Musings
3 comments:
For a moment there, I-thought you were saying, 'I-salesman of Osim'. You seem to be very familiar with the product line-up of Oh-Sim hor? Is Mr Ron Sim related to you (same surname what) or do you hold some controlling stake in the company?
For me, I-pay scant attention to such advertisements. Not that I-own a perfect body that doesn't need any shaping up; far from it. Like you, I-doubt seriously the efficacy of such gadgets. No problem for me - if I-think it doesn't work for me then I-ignore and I-dun-buy lor.
I-hear the I-Gallop seems to be saying, 'If I-dun-sell, then I-lelong lor'. So don't be surprised if you find I-Gallops being given away as lucky draw prizes in company annual D&D, especially at Oh-Sim's annual D&D. The winners of such prizes basically have no choice but to accept them with wry smiles. The gadgets will then probably find their way to Yahoo Auctions since their owners are likely to consider such items as 'I-white-elephant'. Then you and I-can pick up some real bargains. Muahaha.
Neither Ron Sim nor Sim Wong Hoo is of any relation to me. But I don't mind their bank accounts though. Hahah.
Product like this cheapens the brandname of OSIM. Will you get it for your wife?
I wouldn't cheapen my wife like that, Chris. In my honest opinion, she gallops well enough without the help of I-Gallop, thank you.
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