Friendship

Unlike the gregarious Monkey who would chat up with anything that moves, I'm quite selective when it comes to making friends. That's not to say I have no friends. Rather, what one commonly calls a friend, I call "acquaintance". But as for true friends, there is only a handful, Victor being one of them.

I used to have a good friend. We clicked because we shared a lot in common. She was learning the piano, and I have been playing it leisurely, albeit amateurishly, for years. She loved Precious Moment figurines, and I was a one-time serious collector. (Victor, I know what you're thinking - don't start your nonsense now or I'd downgrade you to one of acquaintances!)

We exchanged presents on special occasions like Valentine's Day, Christmas Day and Birthdays. And we shared food often in the office. But friendship, like a flower, needs to be nurtured.

I'm very direct and hardly the kind of person to beat around the bush. I speak my mind and that makes some people take what I say the wrong way. I can be quite a joker too, and not everyone can handle my "nonsensical irritations" as well as Victor. Any wonder why I have more "foes" then friends in the office?

As time goes, I realise that she's never gotten used to my forthcoming ways. She only wanted to hear the nice things; and shut out all the negative ones that I said. There's a saying that goes, "Your enemies is actually your true friend." Why? Because he would tell you all your shortcomings in order to make you feel bad about yourself; and when you know your shortcomings, you'd strive to set them right.

And so we drifted apart. Well, we're still friends, but only on a superficial level. I used to get recycled corny smses about friendship from her. I hate these smses, finding them totally devoid of sincerity. A simple "how has your day been, pal?" would have meant much more.

Thankfully, there're friends so close, we juz feel a sense of affiliation to each other. We horse around, we monkey around, taking swipes at each other; but we're never really offended, for we know where to draw a line. These are the sort of friends who helped me fix my power adapter when it broke; recommended me plumber when my toilet leaked, took leave at short notice juz to chill out with me at East Coast, and drove me home for my pair of rollerblades while my car was being serviced at the workshop, and drove me to the workshop to pick up my car.

Of course, it's not all take and nothing given. Such friends not only deserve all my undivided attention and time in the world, they are also worthy of the unwanted but previously prized possessions sitting in my storeroom collecting dust. I generously gave them away FOC to dear friends like these. No, unlike MJM, I ain't gonna stamp a "friendship price" tag on them, especially to a good old pal like Victor.

Then there are virtual friends we meet in the blogosphere, many of them "faceless".

But how do you relate to the latter? And how much do we know each other? I think what's happening in the blogosphere is a good thing. We mere mortals are communicating more through the Blog. We are building bridges instead of walls, exchanging opinions and ideas. There's finally hope, for the human race.

But I was at once saddened by what was written by a Bloggerfriend, whom I've missing for a while, in one of her recent entries. She wrote something to the effect that she no longer wanted to waste time on virtual friends and that her time is only meant for those who are worthy of her time. She added that virtual friends wouldn’t be around when you need someone to listen to.

Well, I think that’s a fair comment. But are we expecting too much from the so-called virtual friends? Surely, common sense would tell us that virtual friends are the last persons we turn to for help or support, especially emotional help. It also depends on the comfort level we feel about each other..... But it brings us back to the question – juz how much do we know of each other?

Perhaps Andrew Matthews, in his book, "Happiness In A Nutshell" has a point when he wrote "problems begin when we get too attached to things...." or something to this effect.

Category: Musings