A Gamer

The fellas at SONY PLAYSTATION are geniuses. First, they came up with Playstation 1 (PS1). They developed games for the console, made you part with your hard-earned money, and then it suddenly hits you that you're addicted to some of the games. Next you know, they came up with Part 2 of the games. But woes to you, the follow-up games can only be played on a newer console, the PS2. Cursing under your breath, both at the SONY fellas and at your addiction, you went out and got yourself PS2.

Shrewd marketing strategy I must say. And very clever too. Should have studied game design when I was in school. But when you're addicted to something, what choice do you have?

I'm no gamer, lest I gave the impression that I'm one. I purchased PS1 many many moons ago for my kids. At least the ORIGINAL idea was for the kids. Of course, nobody dictated, least of all the Slim Lady, that Daddy can't play. And kids love Daddies the most when Daddies play games with them. You know what they say about "there's a kid in everyone of us"? It's true.

So, I got hold of some games, some for the kids and others for myself, and before I knew it, I was hooked, in particular on a game called " Silent Hill 1" (soon to be a motion picture).

When I learned that "Silent Hill 2" was available, I tried getting my hand on it. Then I read that it can only by played on PS2. I shall spare you the agony of having to read my account of the length I took to get my new console. But guess what? Having finally got the PS2 and part 2 of Silent Hill (I even have part 3 and part 4), I realise that I've yet to complete the game. Time is always a factor, and the fact that I can be very impatient when it comes to killing the monsters and beasts in the game, despite the many cheat codes available in the Internet. The game discs have been lying on the shelves gathering dust for the past 2 years. During this time, SONY has been developing PS3 which would be out in the market by year-end, so I read.

This post is not about gaming. It's really about how sometimes we human are capable of going all out of our way to get things our hearts desire (and I don't mean just tangible things), but only to realise that such things are sometimes a total waste of our time, energy and money. Having said that, the new PS3 console, using Blu-Ray technology (darn! must upgrade again to play Silent Hill 6)seems kinda cool. Hmmmm....

Category: Musings

The Thinker and the Motivator

One is a great motivator; and the other, a great thinker. This is how I like to describe the two fellas I'm currently working under with.

Yes, for the past three years or so, I've had the honour to work with two fantastic leaders - MDC and VT. The former is a great thinker whose leadership has led our team to great height. Cool, collected and extremely down-to-earth, he's a born leader who subscribes to the notion that diplomacy is the key to get things done in the office. I've never seen him crossed (and I hope I never will). I asked him once how he managed to always keep his cool. He told me that if he could get things done by being diplomatic and with a smile, why take the hard approach and make life miserable for everyone? I have high regards for him and am not ashamed to say that he's my role model.

VT, the latter, is a great motivator. Hardly seen without a smile, he's the one who gets things going in our team with his wits and excellent PR skill. Some of my colleagues say that VT is such a nice guy, so nice, in fact, that some people actually doubt his sincerity. You can say he's diplomatic to a fault. But I suppose that's they way VT is. And that's the reason why people find VT ever so endearing.

As leaders, MDC and VT make a dynamic duo. And what a pleasure it is to be working under these two great leaders!

But alas, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. VT will be deployed to another department comes this Monday where his PR skill and efficiency at work is much needed. Such is the unpredictability in life, especially in my office, where staff movement is extremely volatile. Incidentally, he'll be working in the same department as Victor. Other than this, nothing much has changed. We'll still see VT at work almost everyday. And he would still be a big part of BAGUS during lunchtime. But I, as most of my colleagues, do feel a little blue having lost a good leader to the other department.

How could we let VT go without a good send off? We, almost 31 of us colleagues bought him dinner at Capers at Regent Singapore today. It's our way of saying thanks to him for his years of guidance and stewardship in the team. VT gave a farewell speech, but I wasn't listening, feeling a tinge of sadness in my heart.

VT said he'd be seconded for at least two years. Or did he? Be back two years time, you hear VT??!! Our door is always open to welcome you back.

Category: Office

Waxed, polised and shined. And being ripped off.

The length some low-life would go to, just to con us of our money. It's infuriating and it made me really mad. Mad at the con man. And especially at myself for my naivety and for not reading the fine print. As Victor has aptly said, I'm partly to blame. Victor, you sure know how to rub it in. Aarggh!

Last week, I shelled out $388 for a 1-year "wax-n-polish" package for my car at a car polishing shop located at the Tampinese Mall basement carpark. Throughout the transaction, the salesman kept touting the fact that once I signed up, I could have unlimited, repeat UNLIMITED, wax and polish service for me car. Unbelievable, right? I thought so too, and told myself I would never forgive myself if I let a deal like this slipped through my fingers.

So, without bothering to read the fine prints, I hastily signed up and have my car waxed and polished for the very first time on that very same day.

The next day in the office, I told Victor about it, and urged him to sign up too. See, I'm the sort of guy who likes to share a "good bargain" when I see one, especially to a good pal like Victor. Besides, Victor has told me that he's only had his car polished once since he took possession of his car more than half year ago.

Over the weekend, Victor went down to Century Square (another branch) with the intention to sign up. As he spoke to the salesman, it became apparent to Victor that I might have been conned into signing the package. See, he was told that the $388 price was only the price for the membership, and that member would still need to fork out $48 each time he wants his car polished and waxed. Luckily for him, the salesman who attended to him was upfront about it. But not the one who attended to me.

When Victor told me about it, I almost flipped. I called the Tampinese Branch immediately and spoke to the salesman who served me. True to my expectation, he changed his surname to 赖, claiming that he's told me about the $48 per wax and polish. I refuted him and accused him of using tactics that was 不折手断(unscrupulous) to trick me into signing the contract. He continued to insist that he had told me about the repeat payment, and has the audacity to suggest that perhaps there was a breakdown in communications. I then asked him what that $388 was for. He said it's for the very first polish and wax service. Exasperated, I threatened to call the bank to cancel the payment I've made via credit card. He asked me not and, his voice softening, offered to compensate me by giving my car a thorough leather-care service which he claimed was worth about $100.

It's unbelievable the length some unscrupulous and unethical vendors and sales staff would go to just squeeze money out of you. Yes, it's true I didn't read the fine print. On close inspection of the receipt, there was this $48 clearly written on it (see pic), though it was not adequately explained what this amount was for on the receipt. But I reckon if only I've bothered to really scrutinize that receipt, I would have asked that man what this $48 was for, and perhaps I wouldn't have been tearing my hair out, blogging about this now!



Victors always says, Caveat Emptor (buyers beware). This phrase still rings as true as ever.

Darn! Did I scan the company's name into that pic as well? What a heck. Dear car-owners, avoid it by ALL means. Like the plague.

Category: Personal

And baby makes 4 ...

The fourth grandchild for my parents, that is. And the first child for my kid brother. Baby Ethan was born today at exactly 0822hrs. Everyone is so happy and excited. When we visited him at the hospital nursery today, he was sleeping like a baby (well, he IS a baby). He woke up subsequently, and began to wail. Little baby has a great pair of lungs! (think he'd be a great singer when he grows up.... hehe).

Ethan has a full set of hair. At just 6.6 pounds, he's quite tiny, but he's really cute. I suppose all babies are cute. Thank God for babies. They are His greatest gifts.

Have you cradled a baby and smelled him? That baby smell.... I can't quite describe it, but it makes you just want to cuddle and hug him. Man, I've long forgotten that feelings.... I well remember when my first child was born. It was at TMC. I was there when the mid-wife carried out my baby, cleaned and weighed him. She told me, "now check. A boy, ok? See?" pointing at the kuku bird. My boy was crying his lungs out, as all babies do when they come into the world. His skin was also all red and wrinkled. I just stood there, clueless and hapless and too dumbstruck for words. I remember asking myself: "Is this baby really mine? Am I really a father now?" At that instant, I suddenly felt the weight of responsibility coming down on my shoulder. Would I be able to care for him? Would I be a good father? Questions like this flooded my mind at that moment. But at the same time, I was also amazed at the miracle that was in front of me. This is LIFE staring at me. And the Slim Lady and I are responsible for it.

"Ok check the fingers... and the toes," the mid-wife continued. "Ten each, ok?" "And here," she pointed to the birthmark on my son's knee, "here's a mole. Cannot run away one," she said, clearly meaning that even if there was a mixed-up at that hospital, I could always trace my son with his mole on his knee.

Junior's adventure at the KK hospital six years later was less of a drama. For one thing, I didn't even know when junior was wheeled out. It was not because I wasn't being attentive. For some reasons, the nurse DID NOT call for the father. I caught sight of a nurse wheeling a baby trolley and waiting by the lift, all ready to push him into the mummy's ward. I ran towards her and asked: "Is this MY baby?" After asking for my wife's name, she confirmed the baby was mine. Don't ask me how I know that baby was mine... it must be the father's instinct, I guess. Hmmm... wonder if there's a mixed up? But I guess not, for Junior is handsome, just like his Dad. Must be from the some mould lah. LOL. But you could just see the difference in service between the private and the public hospital.

Baby Ethan will be home this Monday. My brother and his wife are sure to have a rocking good time. Rocking baby Ethan to sleep, that is. Hee.

Category: Family

That "top-of-the-world" feeling

This time last year, I wrote about promotion in my office and how happy we were when VT got his promotion.

It's frightening how time flies. Well, it's that time of the year again.

Happiness. Resentment. Jealousy. Smugness. Anger. These are emotions that we mere mortals are capable of at one time or another. And these are the emotions that will be played out in full force in the days ahead, when the HR dept circulates the promotion list in our email.

We'll see lots of happy and smiling faces, looking as pleased as punch. And some with a certain degree of smugness, as if to say, "see? I told you I'm good."

There will be tears of joy, and of frustration. A few others will "march" into the bosses' office and demand for an "explanation". And yet others will lie low, resigned and hurt. Lots of questions will be asked; and gossips will fly across the office premises. There would be some awkward moments among colleagues, especially to those who are more senior and was passed over for a promotion.

The competition has been intense and stiff, especially with a structure like me company's. Life is never fair. And like it or not, when it comes to promotion, luck plays an integral role.

Well, happily for me, my boss has just informed me that I've been promoted (those promoted always get first-hand knowledge before the official email is sent out). I'm lucky, I guess, for I work for a boss who is impartial and kind, and who believes in "developing his men". I've always felt that the ability to do so is the mark of a true leader.

I'm elated, of course, about my promotion. For getting a promotion means getting a pay increment. That means more money "to make ends meet" in a society that's getting more and more expensive by the day. A little more money sure goes a long way.

Of course, money is not the "for-all-end-all". A promotion means more than just that. More importantly, a promotion is a recognition from our boss for our work performance. It's an acknowledgment, an appreciation for our commitment and for a job well done. It is also about self-esteem.

Of course, the flip side of getting a promotion is more responsibilities, more work, more stress, and perhaps less time for the family.

I'm feeling "top-of-the-world" now. The euphoria will last. There'll be promotion treats galore in the office when the official namelist is finally announced. It's a culture that has been ingrained into us in my office. But all's fair, I suppose. My treat this year, and next year, it's yours.

Category: Office

Woa, "pau chia" one ah? (sure to win?)

You can say that I'm shocked.

On my weekly trip to the 4-D outlet this week, I picked up this little flyer by the counter.



Entitled "Winning Times", the brochure is an advertisement by the Singapore Pools (SP) to either get more Singaporeans and foreigners alike to gamble, or to get Singaporeans and foreigners alike to gamble more. Either way, it just doesn't sound very right to me.

Inside the flyer are stories of luck and success concerning four individuals. It's the kind of stuff that only dreams are made of. These characters have one thing in common - all of them have won money in 4-D, Toto or the Singapore Sweep. And all of them, like most fairy tales, lived happily ever after. My friends, please meet:

1. The Incurable Romantic. A man in his forties who looks forward to nothing more than a quiet dinner with his wife. Though he hardly placed any bet on Toto, he decided to do so on the spur of the moment once while having a meal with his wife at Bishan. He won the Toto Hongbao Draw and surprised his wife with a house.

2. The Blue-collared Worker. Having toiled most of his life, a man in his late 50s has been thinking of retirement. But he had little savings and had a wife to support. To add to his woes, his only means of transport, a bicycle, broke down. While wheeling his bicycle to a shop for repair, he chanced upon an SP outlet and decided to try his luck with the Toto Hongbao Draw. Needless to say, he won, bought a roof over his head with the money with spare money left for his retirement.

3. The Loving Father. A man in his early fifties has a medical condition that needs attention. But he decided to use his money for his son's tertiary education, knowing full well the importance of education, of which he had very little. While walking pass a SP outlet one festive season, he decided to try his luck on a $28 Prosperity Pack. And as luck would have it, the man won and was able to send his son for overseas education, with money enough for him to go for his medical procedure.

4. The Mother who knows best. A lady in her late 60s thought that she might have won the 2N2 (??) Special Prize when she checked the teletext. She did a double take and when she was very sure about her winning, she immediately called her daughter who was working overseas. Knowing that their mum's eyesight was failing, the daughter called her brother to help to confirm if the woman has really won. It turned out that she really did win. And when the cheque was finally presented to her, she proclaimed to her children, "Mother knows best!"

Well, don't you just wish that you're in THEIR shoe? I don't know about you, but I do find the advertisement by SP a tad irresponsible and of bad taste. Ok, I suppose SP, being a profit-making organisation, has a duty to watch its bottom line. But the rosy and happy picture painted by SP in the flyer is extremely loop-sided. If we were to believe the stories portrayed in the flyer, most Singaporeans who bought 4-D would have become millionaires. Of course, we know nothing is further from the truth. What about those who are so mired in debt because of 4-D and Toto that they break up their families and their homes? What about those who are driven to suicide?

I also wonder about the need for the advertisement, considering that we Singaporeans are already quite well-known for having made buying 4-D one of our national hobbies. Is it a case of "money no enough" for the SP? Or a case of "the more the merrier"?

If SP is allowed by the authorities to promote gambling so brazenly, I shudder to think what will happen when the casino (I refuse to call it Integration Resort or IR... let's call a spade a spade) is ready for operations a few years down the road.

Ok, to be sure, the brochure did advise one to "Play Responsibly" and "Always Play with Care". But what exactly are the measures in place to encourage one to "play responsibly"? The flyer offers no clue.

Category: Musings

I not stupid, too

"没有教不会的孩子，只有不会教的父母。"

I caught Jack Neo's "I Not Stupid, Too" on VCD today and I'm not ashamed to admit that I actually cried "bucket". My colleague has warned me that the movie is quite a tear-jerker. But I never expected a grown man like me to shed a tear so easily. Sniff.

I think Jack Neo makes a great satirist; at least in our local context. Like his previous movies, there are many subtle messages about government policies and socio-political issues in this movie. In his movie "Home Run", there's a scene in which two camps of boys were seen tussling over the use of a water well. To the uninitiated, this scene is really a portrayal of the never-ending dispute between Singapore and Malaysia over the water agreement. Any wonder that the movie has been banned in Malaysia? And surpise surprise, Jack seems to have gotten away with "murder" back home. He didn't come under fire despite his many jabs at our government policies, nor his prevalent use of the dialects in his movies. In fact, he was worthy of a mention by our then PM Goh in one of his speeches.

Jack Neo's latest offering is a poignant story on the social problems brought about by the generation gap between parents and their kids; their lack of communications; the demands on the kids by the parents who are in turn pressured by the social norm of our society. Indeed, we can identify and see in us the many Singaporeans depicted in the movies:

1. The professional parents who have no time for their kids and try to compensate them with money and material wants;
2. The uneducated and handicapped father who has problem expressing his love to his 15-year-old son and has never offered him a word of praise since the child turned 3;
3. The teenagers troubled by their teenage angst and lack of understanding from their parents;
4. The mother-tongue teacher from the "old school of thought" whose method to make the kids learn the Chinese language is to humiliate the kids in front of the class when they failed their tests;
5. The protective grandma who comes to the rescue of the grandson each time the kid takes a beating from the parents.

Of course, Jack Neo will not be Jack Neo if he does not take swipes at some of our government polices, however subtle the messages are:

1. The old Mother-tongue policy, which, for the longest time, had been a bane to many otherwise brilliant students trying to gain a place in our universities. This policy has been relaxed and teachers are now told to "Teach Less" and help the kids to "Learn More";
2. The way some school principals expel students whom they think are "beyond hope". The boy in the movie joined the street gang when he was expelled, having nothing to do to while away his time. Indeed, some schools expel students for the sake of the school reputation. But teachers, and not just parents, have a social responsibility to guide and correct the youngsters from their wayward ways, and not turn them away. As one father puts it in the movie, "没有教不会的孩子，只有不会教的父母."

The parents portrayed in the movies are quick to find fault with their kids but slow to praise them when the occasions arise. The underlying message in the movie is that we parents must take time to understand our children and don't just concentrate on their shortcomings and negative traits. Just like a piece of paper with a blemished black dot in the centre. Why focus on the black dot and isolate the rest of the white? Why, indeed. And much as I hate to admit, I can't help but draw some parallels in the way I treat my sons after watching the movie.

Category: Movies

Know thy neighbours

"Neigbhours are friends nearby".

Do you greet and smile at your neighbors when you run into them at your doorsteps, along the corridor, in the lift or in the neighborhood? Honestly, how many of us really know our neighbors?

I've always thought we Singaporeans are a suspicious lot. We keep our distance when approached by strangers in the street. We peek when we hear the doorbell, scrutinizing the person behind the door and trying to determine if that person is a salesman attempting to sell us the vacumm cleaner we never need. If he's not a salesman, we wonder if it's someone asking for a donation, or perhaps a civil servant, a HDB officer acting on a neighbor's complaint about a leaking toilet or dripping laundry.

That's why I was surprised when my sister-in-law told me that she usually gives her house-keys to her neighbors for safe-keeping whenever her family is away on holiday on stretch for a couple of days. She assured me that her neighbors, a couple looks to be in their mid-50s with three grown-up children are friendly and extremely nice.

I'm sure they are. But I wonder if what my sister-in-law does is the norm. My personal experiences with my neighbors, current and old, tell me that most Singaporeans make good and friendly neighbors. I, too, had the pleasure to stay next to a nice couple when I first shifted to Simei. They have two teenage sons who inherited their parents' friendly genes. The only unfriendly member in their family is their dog (a toy dog of which the breed I'm not too sure). The dog never failed to bark at my family and me whenever we got past their corridor unit to reach our corner one.

The man of the house assured us that his dog's bark was louder than its bite, and invited us into his house one day. Indeed, the dog stopped barking as soon as we were in the house, and started going around us, sniffing and licking our toes. "Ah, that’s my dog’s way of trying to get to know you guys better," the man had joked. Yes, what a nice family, but I've never entrusted my house keys to them. There was no chance anyway, for not long after we moved in, my neighbors shifted out. Despite barely knowing them, they gave us their new address and contact number and told us to visit them when we are free. Didn't I tell you most Singaporean make good neighbors?

Noted I said MOST Singaporeans. Of course, unfortunately there are some neighbors who would rather keep to themselves than to engage in mindless banters with you. My former neighbors unit was bought by a young couple with three very young kids. We nod and smile whenever we run into each other in the neighborhood; but conversation was scarce. The first time the man talked to me was when he asked how much I paid for my car. Then his wife gave birth to a boy. We were in a lift, and it didn’t occur to me to offer him my congratulations. On hindsight, I think that would have been a good icebreaker. But I didn't. Don't ask me why.

Even today, sometimes when I ran into my neighbors, they would pretend they didn't see me and look elsewhere. Other times, they would smile and acknowledge me, and then look away to avoid further eye contact. Perhaps some people simply have no time for superficial and mindless pleasantries. I can't blame them, really. I think it's not so much they are unfriendly, as they are perhaps "shy". Or sometimes, after a hard day's work, people just don't have the mood for mindless conversation. I'd admit I'm guilty of this sometimes, and perhaps I'm also perceived as being unfriendly by my neighbors.

But truly, there are some neighbors who are downright "stuck-up" and aloof. Most people, and not just neighbors, would return your smile if you volunteer one. But there are people in my block who give me a look as if to say, "What you smiling at? Do I know you?", or one that looks as if you "owe them 5 cents". There's a man in my block who looks at me as if spoiling for a fight. Well, I guess it takes all kinds. Indeed, neighbors are friends nearby. But it takes two hands to clap, I'm afraid.

Category: Musings

Paradox of Life

Years ago, a friend emailed this passage. I remember thinking how profound yet true the message was...

The paradox of our time ....
We have taller buildings but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but have less
We buy more, but enjoy less
We have bigger houses but more broken homes
We have more degrees but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgment
More experts, yet more problems
More medicine, but less wellness

We drink too much, smoke too much
Spend too recklessly, laugh too little
Drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired
Read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life
We've added years to life not life to years
We've been all the way to the moon and back
But have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.
We conquered outer space but not inner space
We've done larger things, but not better things
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice
We write more, but learn less
We plan more, but accomplish less
We've learned to rush, but not to wait
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less

These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion
Big men and small character
Steep profits and shallow relationships
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce
Fancier houses, but broken homes
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers
Throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window
And nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you
And a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

I thought that part about "We have bigger houses but more broken homes" is especially true. Divorce rate is up. And many of our kids are so caught up in their own world that they hardly spare a thought for the people around them. Indeed, there seems to be an erosion of social values. This is borne out by letters to the ST forum of youngsters refusing to give up seats to the elders in public transport.

"We've been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour". Does that sound familiar to you? Do you say "hi" or greet your neigbhours? The one who stays just next to your unit in your HDB flat? Do you know their name? I do, but it never goes further than that. And I suspect it's not just me. My neigbhours reciprocate when I say "hi". And then she stops making eye-contact. I'm sure you know how difficult to hold a conversation without eye contact. So you see, it's not just me.

What's for dinner, Papa?

I don't know how it happened. Ever since my mum announced that she was getting old and too tired to cook us dinner (that was way before she had her by-pass), I've been given the uncoveted task of buying dinner for my wife and kids. This duty was not assigned to me by the Slim Lady. It just happened.

My mum used to complain that cooking dinner always gave her headache. Sometimes she simply didn't know what to prepare for so many people, each with taste buds of their own. My sister doesn't take pork, unless it's bak kwa (isn't that a joke?) My kids hardly eat any greens. That Slim Lady of mine survives only on Hor Fan, Kway Teow dry, and avoids anything that's yellow in colour like noodle or mee pok.

Home-cooked meal is always the best and most healthy. Unfortunately, how many of us have that luxury of eating home-cooked meals everyday? My wife and I hardly cook, for we're both usually spent after a day in the office. On the rare occasions that we do, it's usually on weekend. Most days, we tah pau dinner home.

Since I started buying dinner for my family, I've realised, to my chagrin, that buying dinner, not just cooking, can also be a cause of headache. When I ask my family what they would like for dinner, I get response like "anything". And they complain when I buy food they that don't like. The safe bet for the kids are chicken rice, western food and fast-food, especially KFC. For the Slim Lady, it's dry kway teow or hor fan. Like it or not, these oily and unhealthy food has become the staple for my family, and I've decided that it's time for some drastic actions to make them eat healthy.

So sometimes, I'll just buy what I feel is best for them, WITHOUT asking them. Usually, it's rice with mixed veggies and some meat. They continue to complain, including the Slim Lady, and pass comments like "next time don't buy me rice. I've eaten rice for lunch!" I used to retort, "you know how difficult it is to buy dinner for you guys? Next time, YOU buy!". Now, my usual response is, "You have two choices for dinner - Take it or Leave it."

What else could they do? They will eat when they get hungry. Hehehehe (evil laugh).

Maybe I'll have that pic above enlarged and hung it in my dinning room. LOL.

Category: Musings

It takes two to communicate.... Hello?

I received a handout from my son's school, telling me to access the school's revamped website. The school says it is trying to promote 2-way communication between parents and the teaching staff as a way to foster greater rapport with parents.

All very noble, I'd thought, and promptly clicked on the email address of my son's form teacher and started writing.

I wrote:

Dear Mrs Vasu,

First, congrats on the school's revamped website. It's a perfect tool for communication between parents and teachers.

I understand how busy school teachers are, but please feel free to reach me at foollie@yahoo.com.sg if you wish to share with me anything about Darren, his school work, etc, and especially his behaviour in school.

Thanks & best regards

That was four months ago. And I didn't hear a word from the teacher.

Today, I finally hear from her. You see, while our nation is having an Election Fever, many schools in Singapore are having another kind of fever - Exam Fever. And my son, not to be outdone, decided to have a fever of his own too, with a sore throat to boot. Happily for him, he was given two days MC and excused from having to go to school (and to take his exam).

The teacher, Mrs Vasu called me at my office and asked me the whereabout of my son. When told that he was down with fever, the teacher said she was "worried" about his absence since it was the exam period, hinting subtly that I, the father, should have called the school about it. I asked her, politely, that was it not the norm for the kids to submit their MC on their return? And that surely, the phone call to the school was not necessary? She replied yes, but because of the exam, she was just worried.

I know many of us are finding the many political hustings a tad tiresome. But teachers are very much like our politicians. We hear from them when we don't want to, and when we least expect to; and we DON'T hear from them when we want to. LOL.

She's yet to reply my email. What exactly 2-way communications is the school talking about?

Fortunately, not all teachers are like that. Victor is one lucky Dad. He constantly gets emails from his son's teacher about how his son was doing in school. Well, I guess my boy is just "lucky", in the sense that his teacher never bothers complain about him, not because he's good, but because his teacher is the sort who is BBC (Basically Bo Chap). LOL.

Category: Personal

我们这里是新加坡 (This is Singapore)

This is a song by local singer/composer 梁文福. The song waxes lyrical on Singapore, on how she's gone through World War II in 1941, on the migrants uprooting from around the globe to arrive at Singapore and on their decision to make Singapore their home. The song is about being born in "Tekka", about living in 1-room-1-hall HDB flats. It's about the kids of yesteryears, their childhood and growing up years, and their school days in old Singapore. Each time I listen to this song, it never fails to evoke nostalgia and memories of yesteryears. And what better time to give this song a spin than during this election time, when emotions run high as manifested in the general public (not to mentioned the blogosphere)?

There's a verse that says, "This is Singapore. We used to have nothing, but now at last, we have achieved some accomplishments; not much but we do treasure them". Indeed, there's much to thank and be grateful for. And if that came across as sounding rather contrived, I make no apologies for it. How often do you hear friends who have been overseas and upon their return, proclaimed, "Singapore is still the best"?

Go on, turn on the speakers and listen to the lyrics of the songs. Part of the song is in dialects and I do apologise if the translation is not as accurate as it should be.

我们这里是新加坡
我阿嗲在海山街住过
1941 年轰炸机近过
一枚炸弹在街头降落

我们这里是新加坡
我阿妈在Tekka 生我
虽然那时后霸王车很多
她却依然骑单车去工作

我们这里是新加坡
我的童年在女皇镇过
一房半厅的组屋背后小小的林子里，曾经是孩子们的窝

我们这里是新加坡
我的小学从前在小坡
平时不读书考试之前跑到四马路的庙前说声啊弭陀佛

我们这里是新加坡
我们都曾一无所有过
现在拥有的不算什么
但是比别人珍惜的多

我们这里是新加坡
我表兄金山会来啰
小小麻雀街竹枝
还是街回屋子好得多

Category: Gahman

Play time for our politicians

There's simply no running away from news on GE 2006. It's in the paper, on the TV and in the internet. Political flyers have been left at my doorsteps. Everywhere I turn, I see photographs of candidates, both the PAP and the oppositions, their smiles beaming on the posters hanging on almost every lamp post by the side of the road from where I live.

And then there is that little lorry with loud speakers on its back, blasting away PAP propaganda in our four official languages. I had almost forgotten about its existence, having voted only twice (or was it once?) in all of my 40 odd years. But I saw it again yesterday and today in Simei where I live. It just went back and forth, back and forth like a broken toy on the road in front of my block. There was no waving politician on board. In fact, there was no soul on board, other than the driver, the loud speakers and two flapping PAP flags. How impersonal, I'd thought. What was worse was that I couldn't even make out the message that was being blasted. It was so loud it sounded rather muffled.

Like Chun See, I'm not much into politics. GE time is just full of wayang and rhetoric. I told my wife to avoid eating out at the hawker centres and the coffee shops this week. Why? To avoid running into politicians and their entourage making their rounds, shaking hands and making small talk. I want no part of it. Come on, why do these politicians suddenly appear only when GE is near? Where were they when you need to talk to them? Granted, not every MP is like that. The then MP for Simei, Mr David Lim, used to show up at the estate coffee shops, talking and mixing with residents, young and old. I remember I had just shifted to Simei, and it was not even election time. He came across as affable and sincere. Then he resigned and Mr Lee Yock Suan took over. The latter was inactive. The difference between the two men was stark.

No government in the world is perfect, lest of all Singapore. Everyone of us has our beef with the gahmen, including me. But this notwithstanding, I feel that Singapore would not be where she is today, without the PAP, and credit must be accorded to our fore father MM Lee and the other leaders around his time for their foresight and courage in steering Singapore from a 3rd world country to a 1st worth country within a span of 3 decades. I'm happy to say that the PAP has at least put a "human face" in the PAP. This came about when SM Goh adopted a "consultative style" of governance when he was the Prime Minister. Happyily, PM Lee has also appeared to be rather warm and approachable, if the dialogue he has with fellow Singaporeans on national TV is any indication.

Looking at the reports on the various rallies, it seems that the LUP (Lift Upgrading Programmes) is fore most in the mind of many heatlanders living in older and mature HDB estates. The PAP candidates have promised them lifts to stop at every floor if the residents vote for them. I'm not exactly comfortable with this dangling of carrots by the ruling party to gain votes. After all, opposition and the ruling party, are we not ALL Singaporeans? Why should the opposition constituencies be made to suffer? And what about that group of people in these constituencies that support the PAP?

Having said that, I think it's necessary to have an opposition to keep the PAP in check. Unfortunately, the opposition parties in Singapore are in such a sad state of affair. With the exception of Chiam See Tong, the characters of most other opposition figures leave much to be desired. Of course, the man of the moment must surely goes to the Workers' Party's Mr James Gomez who allegedly tried to caste doubt on the integrity of the Election Department. He's issued an apology which the PAP has said lacks sincerity. Well, politic, as they say, is a dirty game. We're mere audience in this game played out by the big boys. Let the wayang begin ...

Category: Gahman

Solicitation? Or just teenage angst?

I may be over-reacting, but I worry for our kids.

Yesterday, I received an anonymous sms from a stranger. Now, mother (and fathers, too) always tell the kids never ever talk to strangers, be it SMS or the MSN via the Internet. Well, the only difference here in my encounter is that the kid was not me. The other party was, or claimed to be. I can't be sure. Anyway, our exchange in the SMS goes something like this:

Kid: hey. i changed my number to 90xxxxx. take note & thanks (:
Me: Aduh. Who is this?
kid: Justina. lol
Me: Oh dear. I have a friend called Justin. But not Justina. Did you just change sex? Sorry but I have no recollection.
kid: aha. no. 'm pure female. then you're probably not who i think you are. nevermind then. sorry for disturbing you x=
Me: It's ok. Misdirect SMS happens all the time. Hope you're not offended by my joke. Cheers
kid: aha. only if you're not disturbed by my smses. take care then (:
Me: Not at all. Still trying to figure out who, though. Hee.
kid: I think we don't know each other. unless you're 15 x=
Me: Haha. Then definitely wrong number. My friends are all much older. Ok nice knowing you. Take care.
kid: somewhat flattering I guess. aha. thanks. I'm so sorry I'm 15 then. I don't like it either. lol
Me: The young can't wait to grow up, and the old will give anything to get back their youth. The irony of life. What's wrong with being 15?
kid: it's tradition of d young I guess. to complain about everything (: but d thing that sucks most about being 15, one more year before i can watch NC 16 movies (x
Me: NC 16 movies? Is that very important?
kid: nope. tsk. darn my shallow-minded, materialistic & superficial teenage brain -.-

I decided not to respond after that. When I related this to BAGUS, all of them have their interpretations of my encounter:
a. The only rose among the thorns commented that I was "leading her" on which is nonsense of course!
b. Victor said it was obviously a solicitation.
c. VT added that they way the "kid" changed the topic from her being 15 years old to her unhappiness at not being able to watch NC16 until she's 16 sounded rather fishy.
d. MJM said blatantly that I should have called the number immediate and asked "how much?" He then quipped that maybe it was a guy pretending to be a girl.

What do you think? Did I read too much into the SMS exchange? I hate to think this is a solicitation as suggested by Victor. But you could see how the conversation could have led to something unthinkable and unlawful (think statutory rape). Being a father of two, I fear for our kids if this is truly the work of a kid with some hidden agenda, more so when she mentioned she's "materialistic". Sex sells, and the sale of sex provides materialism.

Is this what the kids are up to behind the parents back, despite what we parents warned them about the dangers of talking to strangers? Technologies have advanced our lives to a level that was unimaginable years ago. The Internet and mobile phone technology connect people in a flash. But therein lies the danger, too. Especially if it involves our kids. We parents really can't afford to be too lax.

What's wrong with being a Civil Serpent Servant?

Ok, so my cover has been blown, all thanks to Victor. I'm not an advertising guy I claimed to be. I'm really just a humble servant - a civil servant, that is, in the public sector.

I didn't set out to deceive all, and if I did, there was no ill-intent. There's a reason why I withheld that information, and it's all because of stereotyping.

I heard a certain DJ making a swipe at civil servants once on the radio. He said something to the effect that he once applied for a job in the public sector (if my memories serve me right, it's the teaching profession) but was glad that he was not shortlisted, thus saving him from a fate worse than "death". It was very insensitive of the DJ for making that statement which I found rather hurtful. Sometimes, the DJs forget that they have a social responsibility to the public and they should stop perpetuating falsehoods and half-truths when they make comments in their radio show. Needless to say, I stopped listening to his programme altogether.

So, what does it call to mind when you think of a civil servant? Honestly?

An image of a man, rigid and inefficient, and not being able to think out of the box? Sometimes, he's painted as a "skiver", hence the term "civil serpents". Other times, he's often seen as a nerd and a square.

Nothing is further from the truth. These days, a civil servant can be hip, cool and what one would term a "metrosexual" in today's context of a modern (and vain) man. Just look at Victor, who exudes charm and intelligence wherever he goes. And you can rest assured that Victor is one of the most productive workers we have in our office. That DJ in question should do a reality check around him instead of perpetuating an out-dated image of a civil servant in the comfort of his studio.

I've always wondered about the origin of the term "civil servant" though, a term I personally find rather unflattering and condescending. Did it originate from the colonial days? When the whites ruled? Or did it come about because when you serve the public (we're taking about the public service after all); you're really serving the country?

People used to say that the public sector is an "iron rice" bowl. This statement no longer holds true. Jus look at PSA, the HDB and SIA (ok, so they're are semi-government, but you get my drift).

Nonetheless, I like the stability that the public sector brings. You can say this is one of the fast dwindling perks of working in the public sector. I was working in a publishing firms for 4 years prior to joining the public sector. And I witnessed the harsh reality in the private sector when my manager was sacked at exactly 5pm on the day he returned from his holidays in Penang. Then it happened again to one of the junior staff. It was unnerving for you were never sure if you were next in line. Better to call it quits; and I did.

Still, this is not to say that the pasture at the public sector is always green. Under-performers have been asked to leave, and we are subject to the same kind of office politics one sees in the private sector. It's a dog eats dog world, public or private sector. But having worked in the private sector before, I think I'm able to appreciate my employer more than those of my colleagues who joined the public sector immediately upon graduation from schools. Some of them whine a lot about the office policies and regulations. Sometimes, I think a stint at the private world would do them good.

Another downside is the civil servants' bonus. The whole world will know how much you're getting. Each year comes June, that amount will be splashed on the ST. Not that I'm complaining, but that makes great conversational piece at social gatherings. My aunts would ask, "Woa, the gahmen giving you all 3.5 months bonus hor? Should buy me dinner ahh". Or my mum will "grumble" about how "little" bonus I give her and remarks, "Got 3.5 months bonus, how come never increase MY bonus this year?"

It's been said that the public sector won't make millionaires out of public servants. Maybe that explains the high turn-over rate in my office. But you'd be surprised at the number of them who made a U-turn and rejoined us.

Quit my job and give my best shot to get my millions "outside"? I don't think so. I don't need a million, and I'm contented with my pay package. Besides, I can always try my luck with Toto for my first million ;-))

Category: Office

The power of prayer

Thank you all for your prayers.

My mum is still in the ICU but is making good progress. The operation went smoothly. She was to be transferred to a general ward, but the Doc ordered her to stay for another day in the ICU when she started vomiting out the food she ate and complained about giddiness. We were assured, though, that is quite normal for patients who have had by-pass surgery.

My Dad, so used to having her around at home, was kinda depressed. I brought him along to visit my mum, who was conscious and spoke to us a little. That sort of cheered my Dad up.

The road to recovery is a long one. But praise the Lord, my mum is recuperating. She can look forward to holding and cuddling her fourth grandchild comes June!

The power of prayer and the words of comfort, reassurance, encouragement telling me to think positive.... All these from people whom I've never met like Evan, "It's my life story" (sorry but how do I address thee?), Chun See, and Frannxis. And yes, my good pal Victor and Alex, and BAGUS, too. Good bless all you kind souls.

James 5:13-16 ... confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

Category: Personal

The fear of mortality

If, and when my turn comes, I'm not sure if I have the courage to face what my mum's going through right now. As it is, she's scheduled to undergo a by-pass surgery tomorrow morning. I brought her to the hospital today and she's made to go through an endless round of pre-admission test to make sure she's fit for the operation tomorrow.

You can say my mum is a walking time bomb. Her arteries are 95% blocked. She could suffer a heart attack any time. So the sooner she has the operation, the better in keeping the disease at bay.

We spent much time trying to reassure my mum everything's going to be ok. She's always been afraid of hospital, and blood. We know she's scared to bits, and deep down inside, so are we, me and my siblings. But this operation is something that my mum, and us, have to go through together.

The hospital is such a depressing place to be, and like it or not, that's the place we gonna be as we grow old, one time or the other. The one that she's staying, SGH is really in need of some major overhaul. The false ceilings are all dirty and worn-out and the hospital looks as if it's in need of a new coat of paint which is currently a dreary light green. Why can't they paint the room a cheery pink? Studies have shown that colours do have an effect on the mood of the patients and how speedy they recover from their illnesses.

Please do keep my mum in your prayer.

Category: Personal

A matter of face

So, there'll be no scenic bridge after all.

What was that all about?

Were our neighbours contemplating to grant us access of their airspace in the bridge negotiation? Were they seriously thinking of selling us sand? I thought they said NO and went ahead with the piling work for their side of the bridge anyway. And now we hear Pak Lah has ordered the bridge construction axed because the rakyat is against the use of Johor airspace by the SAF.

Oh well, let's give our neighbour face. The truth is always hard to swallow, is it not? News reports that Johor is a city of car-jackers drew lots of hues and cries from our neighbours who think we are trying to drive tourists away from the state (and they forget that we Singaporeans form the bulk of the tourists). Even our leader was asked to apologise for having said that car-jacking was rampant in Johor years ago. It's like saying, what is true and ugly, we don't want to hear. Hmmm... it reminds me of the Class 95 advert, in which the proud father chooses to listen to the "good comments" made by the tennis coach of his son, and shuts out the negative ones. Can't relay blame them Malaysians. Many of us are like that. We can't handle the truth. Because the truth hurts.

Truly, our neighbours have the propensity to leave our leaders looking perplexed with each of their whimsical move. This is not the first, and it won't be the last. The scenic bridge may never materialise. But perhaps our leaders and that of our neighbours' should build another bridge, a bridge to affirm our bilateral ties, and may peace pervail in this part of the earth.

Category: Musings

爸 爸 哭 了

It's 清明节 or Qingming Festival. To us Chinese, this is the time for the young and old to come before their ancestors, sweep the tombs or the niches in the temple, and offer food to the ancestors. It's a yearly tradition and the rites are important especially to the elderly.

I don't really bother much about such matters for I've always considered myself a Christian. Ok, perhaps I'm not really a practicing Christian, and I'm not proud of this fact. But that's for another post, another time.

My mum has never troubled me to fetch her to the temples, knowing how I feel about such things. But this year, she did, and only because my Dad has problem walking far. They used to take a cab, but because the temple is located in a private residential belt, flanked by terrace houses on both side of the road, they have problem hailing a cab back, unless they walk a distance to the main road.

Having alighted my parents at the entrance of the temple, I drove on looking for a parking space. When I returned, my dad was standing at the entrance, and with tears brimming in his eyes, he told me that was where the urns of my paternal great-grandmother, her brother, both my maternal grandparents urns are being kept. He went on to tell me that he was not sure if he would be able to pay respect to the ancestors next year. Putting my arm around him, I told Dad not to think so much and that he would live past 90.

I remember my maternal grandma, who passed away more than two decades ago. Unfortunately, I have no recollection on my great-grandma, much less memories of her brother, and have very faint memories of my granddad. So perhaps I'm quite devoid of any feelings towards them, unlike my dad.

I love my Dad. The only time I saw him cry was when my grandma was at her deathbed. But I wasn't quite prepared for his display of grieves today. I think he's also worried for my mum's operation next week.

Category: Personal

A cuppa a day ...

First, a little brain-teaser. Can you spot a little man in the sea of coffee beans?

According to the "experts" (read doctors), if you spot the man within 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed. If you spot him within 1 minute and 3 minutes, the right sight of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.

Woes to you if it takes you more than 3 minutes to find that little man, for the right half your brain is a mess. You are advised to look for more such exercises to make that part of the brain stronger.

Ok, I confess - it took me more than a minute to figure out that little fella. But I have reasons to believe this brain-teaser is flawed. It just did not add up. Why do I say so?

Well, we all know that the right side of our brain has a lot to do with how creative we are. And the truth is, in my circle of friends as far as BAGUS is concerned, there's none as creative as me. Since young, I am good with my hands. In school, I did very well in Arts. During courtship, I made personalized cards, wrote love poems for my Slim Lady who, quite the opposite, ALWAYS bought me cards off the shelves. At home, I'm usually the person who does up the house, buying cushions and doing the furnishing to make the home cozy. Comes festive time, be it Christmas or the Chinese New Year, I'm the one who put up all the decorations. Oh, my creativity is not confined to my home. At work, I think up "creative" ways to solve problems, and write "creative" e-mails to my bosses and fellow colleagues.

So how could I have taken more than a minute to solve the puzzle???

"Dr" Victor who passed the brain-teaser with "flying-colour", said I should eat a bag of coffee beans to increase my protein intake. Victor really knew how to make my toes laughed. Protein from a bag of coffee beans? I told Victor perhaps he needed the protein more than I, and suggested a source of protein that is "unprintable" here. I have no choice but to deduce that what transpired between Victor and the brain-teaser was nothing more than a fluke.

But what do I know? I just read an article that extols praises on the benefits of caffeine. It claims that caffeine acts as an antioxidant that rids our boides of free radicals. Caffeine also helps to shield us against heart disease and cancer. Indeed, a study done in the US has linked coffee consumption to a reduced risk of colon and liver cancer, Type 2 diabetes and Parkinson's disease. But it adds that one should drink not more than 2 cups daily. Too much of a good thing, as we know, is bad, unless the thing in question is $$$. LOL.

But we can never be sure what the experts, the doctors and the scientists say. They are back-flippers, if you know what I mean, quite known to be "fickle-minded" when it comes to what is good and not good for us mere mortals.

So Victor, I'm not sure about protein, but how about a cuppa to keep us all free of diseases?

Category: Musings

Of old-age, sickness and destitute

When it rains, it pours. This just about sums up what's going on in my life right now.

The past weeks, I've been busy hunting for a nursing home for my father-in-law. In his mid-60s, I don't exactly consider him a destitute. The home is a last resort that ensures 24-hour care for the Slim Lady's father who is on tube-feeding after having suffered a stroke years ago. That was a difficult and painful decision, chosen and unanimously agreed upon by the Slim Lady and her family. Still, my father-in-law is a lucky man. He has a 2nd wife who goes to the home to take care of him almost everyday. Other old folks are known to have been dumped in the home by their children who hardly make visit thereafter.

Then my mum is scheduled for an open-heart surgery sometime this month. She's been complaining of chest pain and difficulty in breathing for the last few months. A series of test at the hospital confirmed our worst fear. The three main arteries of her heart are 95% blocked, no doubt due to diabetic, and largely, smoking which she had picked up when she was in her teen.

My dad is suffering from hernia, among other ailments. But surgery has been ruled out because he refuses to give up smoking which causes his persistent cough. The doctor has told us that as long as my dad is coughing, there's no point going through the surgery. Coughing exerts the muscles in our stomach and that will cause a relapse of the hernia. My dad just lets it be.

There's a Chinese saying that goes, "家有一老，如有一宝" (An oldie is like a treasure in your home). I agree whole-heartedly. Sometimes, we do not treasure what we have in our midst, until it's too late.

Category: Personal

Performance bonus - a bane, or truly a bonus?

Emotions ran high in the office today.

The on-line salary system crashed in the morning. At least 90% of my co-workers were trying to log on to check if they had got what was on the minds of many of us - performance bonus (PB).

I'll tell you why this is important. It's an indication of where you rank among your peers in the office. It's a recognition from your boss for a job well done. More importantly, it's a pre-indication of what's to follow very shortly - the annual promotion exercise. So you can see, many of us were anxious to find out how much PB we got, or nothing at all.

The performance bonus was implemented years ago to reward employees who had proven themselves in their work. It serves to give a "pat" on the shoulders of these employees and to encourage them to continue their good job. It also aims to encourage the under-performer to work hard. I was never told of the proper guide-lines for the PB and how it is awarded; but here's my interpretation:

1. You get a performance bonus equivalent to one month's salary if you have performed more than 100% of your job scope.

2. You get half a month's equivalent if you perform what is just expected of you. Meaning, you gave only 100%, nothing more, nothing less.

3. You get 3/4 if your work is satisfactory.

4. You get zero if you under-perform.

How's that for motivation? I used to believe in the PB system, until recently. You see, the system works just fine, if every employee were to keep the amount they get strictly private and confidential. However, human as we are, many of us can't help comparing, and many ended up disgruntled and unhappy. You can imagine how the scenario is like:

Employee A: What? That bugger got 100%??!!! What did he do? Everyday read newspaper, walk here walk there, still can get 100% ahh? Screwed up management....
Employee B: Yalor.. NB.... I only get half month. Did all the dirty work, still like that. This system sucks. From now on, I'll contribute only 50%. And no more OT!!

Ironic, isn't it? See how a system that was put in place to encourage employees to perform better could also backfire, and gives rise to disgruntled employees and much ill feeling in the office. So, I'm not exactly sure if dishing out PB is a good thing.

No, in case you're wondering, I'm not one of the disgruntled employees. I'm happy for what I got, so happy that I offered to buy Victor lunch which he declined politely. Good thing he did, or he has to buy me lunch too. LOL.

Category: Office

The other signs of old age

We can tell the signs of old age when we see one - forgetfulness, slow in reflexes, failing eye-sights and hearings, and some would add grumpiness (as in; a "grumpy old man") and long-windedness (as in; you're more "loh soh" then my grandma").

But there are other obnoxious signs of old age which I've experienced personally. You know you've reached a certain age (ok, the right phrase is "growing old") when you're faced with the following:

1. You find your son towering over you, and each time you reprimand him for his wrongdoing, you have to get him to sit down.

2. You start getting frequent emails from the HR department, announcing the retirement of fellow colleagues - a sign that you and your co-workers have slowly, but surely become part of the aging-workforce.

3. You are green with envy when you see housing estates, but yours, embarking on the Lift Upgrading Programme (LUP). And when your estate finally get the LUP, your euphoria lasted all but 5 minutes for it suddenly dawns on you that the LUP is really conceptualized to prepare us Singaporeans for a population that is fast aging.

4. You get wedding invitations from your colleagues. Problem is, it's NOT the wedding of your colleagues; but that of their sons and daughters. (Chai, thanks for the invitation. And for making me and many of your colleagues realise how "old" we have become): ))

I know I've just penned a post on "Growing Old Gracefully". No, I've no hung up when it comes to growing old. And though I can be quite "vain", I'm certainly not afraid of aging (for goodness sake, I'm just 41++!!). But really, come to think of it, a lifetime is really short, even if one were to life till 70. It's been said that aging is inevitable; but growing old is optional. I'm still trying to figure out what "optional" means. To adopt a more "adventurous" and "fun" outlook in life? How does one roller-blade at 60? Or bangee-jump? Do we really have an option? And how so? When all signs are telling and reminding us how "old" we've become?

Category: Musings

Driving habits of Singaporeans that really piss peeve me off

What's with drivers who cut lanes, refuse to signal their intention and behave like hooligans on the roads?

I was listening to news radio 93.8 when listeners were asked to call in to rate Singaporean drivers on road courtesy. Nine out of 10 callers said that we Singaporean make bad drivers. I agree 110%!

Just yesterday, I was making a right U-turn, signal on, when the car behind me tried to overtake me as he intended to turn right into the carpark. I saw his car in my side mirror, and he didn't even bother to signal his intention. I halted my car mid-way as I turned and waved him on. Perhaps it was the flabbergasted look on my face, the middle-aged driver stepped out of his car and raised his voice at me: "Who is in the wrong? Who is in the wrong?" Hello? I had my right signal on, and you were behind me. Unless he's totally blind to the fact that I was about to turn right. It did not matter that I was making a right U-turn. I was still turning right anyway. So who has the right of way? I've no wish to get into a tussle with the man, considering that my two kids were in the car with me. We could argue until the cow came home, and that man would still insist that "I'm in the wrong."

Years ago, when I first obtained my driving license, a bus, loaded with factory workers, pushed me into the road shoulder in the PIE. And all because I overtook it. First of all, the lorry had no business whatsoever in the middle lane. And secondly, it was speeding. Having pushed me into the shoulder, the bus driver stopped his bus, wanting to confront me and probably spoiling for a fight. I slowed down my car, and was thinking whether I should stop my car as well. Thankfully, I had the sense to drive on, or I would have woken up the next day (if I'm still in one piece, that is), and found myself splashed across the ST with the news: "Road-rage: Compact car owner, pushed into road shoulder, assaulted bully burly bus driver". My friend told me always to standby a baton, an umbrella, anything, as a weapon in the car. I'm not sure if this advice is sound.

Why are Singaporean drivers behaving like thugs on the road? Stress in our lives? Impatience? Or simply to show off the flashy fast car? Indeed, the ST has reported that cases of road-rage have gone up in recent years. It's true that driving in Singapore can be very stressful. We have the following drivers to thank for:

1. Drivers, especially those driving big cars, simply choose not to signal their intentions when they want to switch lanes. What's wrong with these drivers? Whatever's the signal function of the car for? Just because they drive big cars, they think they are the kings of the road? It's been said that men who drive big cars are trying to compensate their inadequacy in the bedroom. Just ask Victor. LOL.

2. Drivers who refuse to give way to drivers who signal their intention. More often than not, the former would speed up, rather than slow down, to prevent the latter from filtering into the lane. Maybe that's the reason why drivers in para 1 don't signal in the first place. It's like: If I signal, I'll never be able to filter in. If I don't signal, the driver behind me gives way to me. How ironic.

3. Drivers who hog the road, especially those who drive on the extreme right lane of the expressways. These drivers take their own sweet time, travelling at 70-80 km/h, as if they are sightseeing on the road. No amount of flashing or tooting could get them to change lane.

4. Drivers who tailgate to "push" you out of their lane. Such drivers are lonely people. They have not been kissed for years and if they do, they've probably been kissing themselves with the mirror. So they couldn't wait to "kiss" your car.

5. Lorries, trucks and vans driving above the speed limit, occupying lanes other than the extreme left lane. These big vehicles have been getting rather bold these days, especially after their speed limit was increased from 60km/h to 70/km. Where are the "white mice" when you need them?

I'm usually a safe and careful driver. Victor can vouch for me. On the occasions that I'm not, I put the blame squarely on the above drivers. And I realise something - it makes me feel good when I give way to fellow drivers, especially when the drivers reciprocate with a wave of a hand to say "thank you". I caught a car-decal on a passing vehicle once with this initials "F.I.D.O". Know what that means? No, it's not the name of a doggy. It actually stands for "Forget It and Drive On". Now, that's a sound advice every driver should heed.

Category: Musings

Growing old gracefully ...

Growing old gracefully .... How many of us can do that? Not unless you're Sean Connery or the late Katharine Hepburn. More often than not, our bodies are crippled with all sort of debilitating illnesses that either leave us dead if we are lucky, or bed-ridden if we are not so lucky.

I was at Lee Ah Mooi's nursing home at Thomson today with the Slim Lady and her brother. Our mission - to check out the home for the admission of my father-in-law who has become invalid for various medical conditions - stroke, diabetics and hypertension. See? My father-in-law is not so lucky, if I may say so.

The sight at the home is pretty depressing. The able-bodied old folks were seen sitting around the compound of the nursing home quietly, looking listless and kinda bored. The invalid folks, some requiring tube-feeding like me father-in-law, were all in a room, confined to their respective bed, some lying down staring into the ceiling, others lying on their side on their bed, watching the TV.

We were met by a bare-chested man of 60 in his office. I suppose he must be the caretaker of the home, or the "manager". He was business-like in the way he explained the various charges to us, never mind that he was without a shirt or a singlet. There was only one vacancy left in the nursing home. The man told us that Singapore is in shortage of nursing homes. It wouldn't be enough even if the government were to build another 10 nursing homes, he added.

What he said hold much truth. Our workforce is aging, the problem made worse by declining birth rate. Though our life expectancy has gone up, we aren't exactly as healthy as people in the days of yore, like our grandparents. We may live longer, but our bodies can also be inflicted by various life-style diseases such as hypertension, diabetes and strokes that require lifetime medication. Eat healthy and exercise regularly? It's always easier said than done, isn't it?

I know I should never harbour such thoughts. But how fulfilling can my life be if I were to be admitted to a nursing home? What quality of life? How would I feel, watching my muscles and sanity wasting away as I live through the last of my days, under the mercy of care-givers at the nursing home? Is it not better to just let go?

Category: Musings

Popiah feast at Evan's Chris'

I've We've had enough of waiting. How long is a man supposed to wait, before he starts tearing his hair out in frustration? How soon can the man be served his food, before he perishes in hunger?

Whatever happened to the popiah feast my blogosphere friend Evan was supposed to organise? I can understand Evan's concern in hesitating to meet Victor and Chun See, despite Victor's offer to get the popiah skin on his account. After all, mummy always warns little girls about the danger of meeting strangers in the Internet. Is Evan worried that Victor or Chun See might turn out to be wolves in sheep clothing? Hey Evan, I'm certainly no wolf, ok? And I'll come to your rescue.

I guess Evan was just being cautious. She wouldn't want to end up like Lil Red Ridding Hood, I'm sure. ROTFL.

Thankfully, I don't have to depend on Lil Red Ridding Hood for my craving of popiah. The Slim Lady has been on a 1-week leave, and today, she said she wanted to try out my mum's popiah recipe.

She bought the ingredients yesterday and did much of the chopping and cutting of the veggies. It took her about 3.5 hours just to get all the veggie ready. It's really a lot of hard work.

I too took a day off from work today, just to spend time with the Slim Lady and to help her prepare the popiah. But it turned out that I was the one who actually did all the cooking (and most of the eating as well). It's really quite tedious - preparing the different veggie, cooking them separately, and having to mix them up in a big wok in the end. But we had great fun cooking the popiah together, husband and wife. All the hard work in preparing the popiah is worth it.

Having cooked the dish myself, I also appreciate my mum's popiah even more. When she prepares the popiah during CNY, she always get up at the crack of dawn at 5 am to prepare all the ingredients herself. I've no idea how tiring this is, just the tossing of the veggie! I'm still quite amazed at how she could accomplish that herself all alone.

So, what's the verdict of our first attempt at cooking this special dish? The popiah veggie tasted a little sweet, quite unlike those prepared by my mum. We thought perhaps we've added more carrot then we should. But my mum told us that the sweetness was actually from the turnip. Here're some photos of the yummilicious popiah...











The cut veggie also didn't look as "refined" as my mum's. I told the Slim Lady that it was probably because of the old grating board which has been with us for years. Time to change a new one, and maybe the next time round, the veggie would be refined as sugar. I know what Victor is probably thinking when he reads this: "hmmmm.. here's a workman blaming his tools but himself ...."

All things considered, I rated the popiah 8 out of ten. Though the veggie is a wee bit sweet to my liking, once it's wrapped up in the popiah skin with the sweet dark sauce, the chilli and the peanuts, it tastes almost as scrumptious as the popiah prepared by my mum. In fact, my Dad said our popiah tasted better! (I'm inclined to believe that Dad has lost his taste bud... considering he's getting on in years...) LOL.

So Evan, what you waiting for? When can I see photos of your popiah in your blog.... Hee!

Category: Food

My fascination with the Chinese Horoscopes and Fengshui

When I read Sumiko Tan's personal column on how her life was dictated by her superstitions in fengshui and the Chinese Horoscope, I couldn't help but notice some parallels in her belief and mine.

See, I'm also fascinated by the Chinese horoscopes and fengshui. Someone please tell me if this is against the Christian faith.

Though I'm fascinated, I'm not obsessed. I've never engaged the service of Geomancer into my home to make my home or its occupants lucky. That would have been too drastic. But I'm thirsty for books on fengshui and the Chinese horoscopes and have in fact bought a couple by the famous fengshui author Lilian Too.

When my office shifted to its new location two years ago, I consulted Lilian's book on the direction my new cubicle should face, armed with a compass. There was more I consulted. Should my desk be facing the pillar? Where should my rubbish bin be? Within sight? I love greenery, should I keep cactus on my desk? And what about dry flowers? In case you're wondering, the answers to the all above is NO. Most of my colleagues saw what I did, they borrowed my book and my compass, and followed suit. It made me realise that, like it or not, many of us are superstitious. And can you blame us? Nobody wants bad luck to befall us.

When 2006 beckoned, I purchased Lilian's latest book on “2006 Fengshui and Luck Outlook” for the Chinese zodiac sign of the Dragon, the year in which I was born. I also bought one for the Slim Lady, on the zodiac sign of the Horse. The book was in Chinese and I have a fair bit of difficulty trying to understand all the chapters due to my limited command of the Chinese language. But I somehow managed and what I've read so far is cold comfort.

According to the book, 2006 spells nothing but trouble for those born in the year of the Dragon. The Dragon's crime? It has fan tai sui (犯太岁). I don't really know what's 太岁 , but I guess it means offending an entity of sort.

The more I read the book, the more paranoid I become. But I couldn't put it down, for it's like taking a peek into the future - my future, on my career and family life. This is beginning to sound very un-Christian-like, I know. The bible did warn us against dabbling into the unknown...

The book says because Dragons have 犯太岁, those born in the year of the Dragon will be down on their luck. They will suffer in health and wealth. They will lose some of their close friends, get backstabbed by colleagues who are consumed by jealousy over the Dragons’ brilliance and competence. And horror of horrors, Dragons will be accident-prone in some months in 2006. It mentioned the month of February in the Lunar Calendar, May and the 2nd half of the year!

And believe it or not, last Friday, driving home and waiting at a junction for the traffic to clear, my car slide backward and "kissed" the car behind me. That kiss was simply a "peck on the cheek" but it was enough to leave some deep scratch marks on the bumper of my car. My NEW car! Coincidence?

The book also said I'd be troubled by an inter-departmental reshuffle in the office. Indeed, a reshuffle is soon to take place according to my office management. What I heard today through the grapevine confirms my worse fear. Coincidence again?

I know how easy it is to lose our head and become all irrational and paranoid when it comes to fengshui and the horoscope. It sometimes bothers on the silly. The Slim Lady doesn't have it better. The book on Horse says that she's likely to be robbed of her money this year. Now she’s afraid to carry cash and taking the lift alone. I regretted buying her the book :(( and have to tell her not to believe everything that's written in there. Or not to believe anything at all.

When I related the “kissing” incident accident to Victor, he asked me why did I go and make the prediction from the horoscope come through? He obviously thinks the book is crap. I want to believe the book is crap, too.

Category: Musings

Laugh (and the world laughs with you)

We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy
- Psalm 126:2

Laughter, as the doctors will tell us, is the best medicine. And I'm sure God, our creator, would want our life filled with Laughter and Joy. Sometimes life is hard. And it can be very cruel. But if we take life with a pinch of salts and remember that we are but living in a transient world, it somehow makes our living more bearable.

Some of the following have been extracted from a nifty little book called "God Is In The Small Stuff (and it all matters). God sure has his sense of humour :))

1. If you doubt that God has a sense of humour, look in the mirror.
2. Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - sense of humour.
3. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with others.
4. The best jokes are painless and profaneless.
5. If you can laugh at yourself, you are guaranteed a lifetime of chuckling.
6. If someone tells you a joke you've already heard, let him finish and laugh anyway.
7. Humour works best when it brings joy to others.
8. Be happy and smile always - it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.

Hehe...

Category: Musings

The power of motivation

I don't know whether to cry or to laugh.

Junior brought home his report card today. Mummy has promised him a Notebook if he scored Band 1 for his Maths, English and Chinese in his CA 1 exam. I still think my wife is it is insane to have promised the child the sun and the moon.

Alas, Junior got two Band 1 and a Band 2. So, there'll be no laptop. But I told him mummy and daddy are proud of his result and happy that he's tried his best, and announced that we'd reward him with something other than the notebook. He said ok, but there's no doubt the look of disappointment on his face.

But I was pleasantly surprised to hear Junior say, "I'll try harder for my SA 1 exam to get the notebook."

I hope we're not inculcating in him the evil of consumerism and materialism. No, I don't think we are. What I see instead is the power of motivation. Maybe the Slim Lady knew something that I don't. She did something to motivate the child. And self-motivation, as we know, is the key to many successes in life.

We parents always tell our kids that at this juncture in their lives, their main job is to study hard in their studies. If they do so, and prove it in their results, they can have all the things they want, and by "all the things", we meant:

1. The freedom to play the Playstation, on-line games and computer games for as long as they want on weekends;
2. The freedom to be a couch-potato for as long as they want over the weekends; and
3. Being pampered with any toys or gadget not more than $50.

But the notebook offer took me totally by surprise. Now I know why we men don't get it. It's because they women never bother to discuss it. Sigh.

Category: Family

The passions of Singaporeans

Ask me about Singaporeans' passions, and I could name you FOUR.

Eating;
Shopping;
4-D and Toto; and
More eating

Yes, we Singaporeans simply love to eat. Many eat to live, but many more like me, live to eat. We eat wherever we go and whenever time permits, in between shopping, work and even in the wee hours of the morning when we should be sound asleep. To say Singapore is a food paradise is an understatement. And is it any wonder that most of us are out of shape, with many men carrying pouches paunches of all sizes? In my company's annual medical screening last year, more than 60% of the employees were found to have high cholesterol. But does it make any difference to any of us? I doubt so. Food, the doctors failed to understand, is our passion.

Ahh... shopping. Don't we just love blowing our money away? Retail therapy is not only good for our souls, it's also good for our economy. The exchange of money helps to generate income for various sectors in our economy. How nice to think that we're doing a "charitable" act when we shop, shop and shop! It doesn't matter that I have THREE MP3 players in my possession. I'm thinking of getting Creative's Zen Vision which allows me to watch movies (IPOD be damned). And my wife, God help me, has promised Junior, who is in P2, a laptop (yeah, you read it right, a NOTEBOOK) if he scores Band 1 in all his subjects in the current CA1 exam. My wife This is insane. No, I'm not trying to justify my wife's extravagance (ok, so I just bought a car; but it's really more out of necessity than anything else), but Singaporeans really do shop till we "drop". Let's not keep too much money in our POUCH, I could almost hear Victor dispensing his sound advice, and let's live today like there's no tomorrow. LOL

When it comes to 4-D and TOTO, my sentiment is that as long as one doesn't go over board, buying 4-D is also some kinda charity. Singapore Pools is known to have done its part in donating money to various charity bodies. But there's no denying that this is a form of gambling, albeit a legalised one. Truth be told, I'm not really into buying 4-D or TOTO, mainly because my luck has never been good in them. The last time I won any money was last year, after having spent money for several weeks on a number I can't even remember. And struck I did, to the amount of $65000. I thought lady luck is starting to smile on me, until I realised that amount was just enough to cover what I've spent "invested" over several weeks. Still, you can't deny that I've won. Hee.

Since I took delivery of my car, I've been told by well-meaning friends that it's unforgivable not to buy my car number. Some people say buying 4-D is fine, as long as it does not become an obsession. We're buying a hope. If we don't buy, there's no hope (所谓买个希望，没买就没希望). But I know of relatives and friends who easily spend hundreds of dollars each week on 4-D. My aunt is one of them. She buys a lot and she wins a lot, but she also owes a lot of money to many people, including some loan sharks. My uncle "bailed" her out a few times. But her children, all grown-up, refuse to talk to her. The end result? A broken family. Therein lies the danger of gambling.

But there's no explanation on this thing called LUCK. Some people simply have all the luck, especially those with "ruddy" hands like Chun See. Others, like me, has to slog hard as an ox in the office to accumulate my "wealth". But I know God is always fair. Whatever is yours, will be yours.

And the thing people do to get lucky. My colleague, MJM, advised me to place an orange each in the four corners of my car the day I collected the car. And it has to be done BEFORE anyone, including the sales agent sit on my car. The last time he did so with his new car, he struck thousands of dollars in the 4-D. Victor followed his advice when he got his Scenic. I'm not sure if he's been lucky. If he has, he's certainly keeping mum. But I know Victor, he'll throw a feast if he's struck any money at all. Such is his generosity. So maybe the oranges didn't work for him? Maybe it's just all hot air? Or maybe lady luck is still waiting for the right time to strike?

Did I do as told? Placing the oranges in my car? This borders on the superstition really; but it doesn't harm anybody in any way. So why not?

Category: Musings

The Circle of Life

Soon Beng was laid to rest on Monday. The day before, I was at my sister-in-law's, celebrating baby Joven's 1-month-old. And today, BAGUS and OKD threw a celebration for Victor, who will soon turn 50 this coming Monday.

The circle of life - Birth, Life and Death. I guess God had it all planned out. Maybe God thinks this world is just too small to accommodate all. Someone just have to go, to make way for the new. Makes me wonder if heaven is crowded? Maybe angels float around often, or they are always on God's missions. So we don't need much space in the house of God? And God always has room for all his children.

Gee... I don't know what got into me. I was going to blog about Vic's birthday celebration. But this past week has been quite a ride. It's been both sad and happy. Sad because we've lost a friend and colleague. And happy because of baby Joven's "coming of age", Vic's birthday and me collecting my brand new car, of course!

Let's come back to Vic's birthday. That man crossed the half-century mark, and any man who's crossed that mark deserves my respect. So, there'll be no snide remarks about Victor in this post. I half expected Vic to break into the Hawaii-five-O theme song, but he never did. Busy eating, I guess. Oops sorry, I take that back!


For a man his age, I must say Victor still looks pretty good. He is quite unlike most men his age who usually spot a "spare tyre". Some much younger men, like me, already has a pouch!

He's still slim, tall (shrinkage will come much later in life, Victor), and his pimple dimples remain intact, his face defying the force of gravity. It must be his good genes. And if everyone has genes like Victor's, the plastic surgeons will be out of business in no time. There'll be no end to Wuffles Wu's ruff. I'm also quite upset that my attempt to fatten Victor to make me look slimmer failed miserably, for Victor is never a big eater, nor a junk eater.

We had lunch at a little restaurant at Pasir Panjang. The restaurant is called Manhill, though it certainly does not sit on top of a hill, and it certainly not only welcomes men, but women as well. The dishes it serves are not something to shout about. But I love the noodle we ordered specifically for Victor. It's a Chinese tradition to serve noodle on one's birthday. It symbolises longevity. And it means Victor can look forward to the other half-century mark. LOL.

We even bought him a cake bean-paste bun that resembled the face of a man. Alas, it had room for only 1 candle. We sang Victor the birthday song and made him blush like a red tomato.

Call me a sentimental fool, but I've always treasured the company of friends more then the variety of food on the dining table. And as we age, we could do well to remember this saying, "Count our age with friends but not with years".

Happy Birthday, Victor.

Category: Personal

Roll up your sleeves and let's roll the POPIAH!

This post is dedicated to Evan, whose Kitchen Ramblings leave many of us salivating...



Mum's the world's greatest cook. This is a sentiment shared by many people of their mothers. Except for my kids, who think yours truly a better cook then their mum, the Slim Lady. If that's the irrevocable truth, and I think it is, I have my mum to thank for.

See, like most people, me too think my mum is the world's best cook. She's thought me how to whip out a mean bowl of laksa, a plate of glutinous rice, and my favorite kim kueh mee or pumpkin noodle. When it comes to cooking, my mum is the sort who subscribes to the theory of "agaration" (an acronym of Malay and English words meaning Estimation). There's no hard and fast rules on the ingredients or amount of seasoning used. Everything is based on estimation, and anything goes.

Having said that, my mum cooks other fabulous food such as braised duck, hor-fan and yu-sheng, the kind that goes with congee, just to name a few. I've been wanting to put into writing my mum's many recipe or they will be in oblivion when my mum makes her exit one day...

Evan, a 'blogo-friend' of mine, has asked me for my mum's popiah recipe when I did a post on Chinese New Year goodies recently. See, popiah is a staple food for my family during CNY. My mum usually prepares 3 big pots of the popiah veggie, enough to serve all our relatives and friends who come visiting, with left over to last at least another 3 days. It's become a tradition of sort, having popiah for CNY in my household. And it's really quite a joy to see all my aunts, uncles and cousins rolling up their sleeves and rolling the popiah themselves, basically having a rolling-good time (no pun intended).

So, Evan, here's the recipe, courtesy of my mum. Be warned though, that I've yet to try it out myself.

Ingredients

1. Shredded Carrot (5x)
2. Shredded Turnip (3x)
3. Long bean (2 packets)
4. Cabbage (1 roll)
5. Bean-curd (2 packet. My mum says to buy them from the supermarket. Each packet contains 4 bean-curd)
6. Pork belly
7. Suan Ah (10x). [I don't exactly know what this is called in English; but in Hokkien, it's called Suan Ah]


Method

1. Cut bean-curd into tiny cube; then fry them
2. Stir-fry carrot, turnip, long beans, cabbage and "suan ah" separately
3. Slice pork belly into tiny pieces, stir-fry it.
4. Mix ALL ingredient together.
5. Add salts and MSG (optional) for taste

Chilli

In my humble opinion, the chilli is one of the most important ingredient in popiah-making (just like the Hainanese chicken rice), without which the popiah simply won't give us the ooommmpphh! My mum uses only three ingredient for the chilli - the chilli itself, garlic and a bit of salt. First, grind the chilli. Then add the garlic and continue to grind. Lastly, add the salt.

Peanuts

You also need peanuts. I'm not sure if my mum prepares this herself. But you can get the ready-made one in the market.

Popiah skin

Can get the traditional one from Joo Chiat as recommended by Victor. No car? Never mind, get Victor to buy for you. Just pay him petrol money. Or repay him with TEN rolls of popiah. :P You might as well ask him to deliver some to my house. ;) Actually, those ready-made skin from the supermarket is just as good.

Other ingredients

You can add prawn, mashed egg etc. And don't forget the sweet sauce. Another ingredient that is a must is the Chinese lettuce (or Pang Chai in Hokkien).

I guess that's about it, Evan. Apologies for the delay. So when do you think Victor and I can sample your popiah? :P

Category: Food